Nightblade - Sidequests
by KnightEstoc
Summary: A collection of short stories taking place in the Nightblade universe. Both canon and non-canon stories are included - if a story is non-canon it will be mentioned at the top. Reading Nightblade and Nightblade II - Wings of Vengeance is suggested and in fact highly recommended due to spoilers.
1. Friends and Phobias

**Sidequest: Friends and Phobias**

* * *

**September 24th, 2024**

The 67th Floor: a calm green forest with lush plant life. Relatively peaceful, and full of scenic vistas where one could consume a delicious picnic meal with a close friend or loved one.

This, of course, meant that it was nearly impossible to find monsters to engage in some decent grinding. I wandered through one of the forests on the south edge of the floor, enjoying the afternoon sun. It was rare that I found myself out and about on a day such as this one; as of late, I had been doing my best to advance through the Labyrinth whenever possible. It was a thankless task, to be sure, but I had nothing better to do when Kirito and Asuna were busy. However, I had taken one step outside of the inn I had slept in and decided to take the day off. It was too nice a day to waste; Kirito had taught me that. These days were rare, after all, and I wanted to make the most of it.

A piercing scream rang out through the air, and I stiffened. A scream meant only one thing: a player was in trouble; however, the nature of that trouble had several different possible causes. One cause was that the scream was a trap, designed to lure any heroic players to the rescue, only to turn on them and attack - a favored trap among certain orange players. Another cause was that the player screamed because they needed help, the sort of help that only another player could give. The problem was, several monsters hunted based on hearing, and a scream could and would easily lead them straight to their prey. I thought about what I would do about the scream when it rang out again; this time, I could hear a certain undercurrent of panic. I nodded; it seemed it was a player seeking help and not one luring players to an ambush. That sort of panic was difficult to feign.

I had intended to do some fighting on this floor, but for whatever reason the monsters were nowhere to be seen. It was certainly strange, but perhaps the screams would attract some of the lurking monsters. It was certainly a higher possibility to encounter them there than wandering around haphazardly; I cracked my knuckles, having come to a decision. I would seek the source of the scream in the hopes that monsters would be nearby.

With that decided, I took off toward the scream; it had come somewhere from the northwest. I could cover plenty of ground quickly enough, so it was child's play to find the source. Of course, I was aided by my newest skill; while Searching was active, the cursors of monsters and players appeared from a greater distance. Though my rank in the skill was low, I could still see the small collection of light red cursor crystals surrounding a larger green crystal. I angled myself in the direction of the closest cluster and turned off Searching; no sense in disorienting myself more than necessary. Although Future Step greyed my vision slightly, the greenish tint Searching caused was almost nauseating, and I didn't exactly enjoy having it active.

As I approached the gathering of monsters, I slowed down; I had learned my lesson about rushing in without looking earlier. On the higher floors these days, reckless actions could get me killed - it wasn't like I had anybody to cover me if I screwed up. Not that I particularly needed anybody; I was strong enough to defend myself. A flash of red caught my eye as I pushed aside a branch, and I grinned. I had only been wearing the Bloodwyrm Armor Asuna and Kirito got me for my birthday for just under two weeks, but it already felt natural to me. Perhaps I should thank them again. I started thinking about how I could pay them back; Asuna's birthday was coming up in about a week, so I wanted to get her something. I needed to meet Kirito as soon as possible to plan something out with him - after all, I knew how the two of them felt about each other. Even if they didn't.

I pushed back one final branch, putting the matter out of my conscious mind for the time. I needed to examine the situation closely, and worrying about getting my friends gifts was unconducive to my continued survival. I peered out of the foliage for a second, and then burst out laughing. I pushed my way into the clearing, still chuckling, and looked for the player that screamed. To my surprise, the player was none other than Argo, one of the information brokers in the game and a previous beta tester. The two of us got along fairly well; it helped that I was one of her biggest customers, keeping tabs on rumors surrounding me and my friends on a constant basis. We had also entered a business partnership of some sort, wherein she would charge extra for answering questions about a certain rumor that was floating around regarding myself and Asuna.

Of course, none of that was applicable at the moment. Argo was pressed flat against a tree, trying her best to get even further away from the group of monsters. I snickered to myself, and then composed my image. "You might be able to get further away from them if you climb the tree," I called out.

Argo opened her eyes and looked around wildly until she saw me. "Rythin? Oh, of course you're here to see this." I'd be hard-pressed to let this go, and she evidently knew it. "Just help me out, okay?"

I shrugged. "I see no reason why not. After all, my purpose coming out today was to fight monsters." I glanced around me. "But I doubt these will prove to be any sort of challenge." The monsters harassing Argo were small yellow dog-like creatures called Sand Pups. They were weak monsters from the 55th Floor, a desert-based floor, and I wondered what they were doing up on the 67th Floor. It was probable that an event or quest of some sort had overwritten the usual monster spawns, but that didn't explain why Argo was looking at them as though they were Floor bosses. "Argo, you can pick these up and punt them." I did just that, tossing a Sand Pup into the air with one hand and kicking it with a Martial Arts skill. The monster was sent flying over the tree line with a small yip, and it disappeared before I could watch it burst into blue polygons. I turned to Argo. "Literally. These shouldn't be a problem for you, even with the numbers present." I approached the tree that acted as her lifeline, absently backhanding a Sand Pup that tried to pounce at my shoulder. I took a closer look. "Hang on a second... are you scared?" My face broke into a wide grin as Argo flushed, all the answer I needed. "Oh, you're scared of dogs. This is fantastic." I was giddy - it wasn't every day blackmail material jumped out and presented itself to me.

"Shut up and kill them," Argo snapped. "Asshole."

I chuckled and sketched out a mock bow. "Asking me to kill something is like asking a fish to swim." I turned back to the collected monsters and dropped into a fighting stance. "You heard the lady, puppies... Let's dance!"

After the dogs were all killed, I straightened up and looked around for Argo. She was still standing by that same tree, glaring at me with crossed arms. "I guess I owe you for helping me out, but did you have to be such an ass about it?" she demanded.

I shrugged. "I just can't leave beautiful maidens alone and unrescued," I said with a smirk. Was it my imagination, or did she flush slightly? Probably anger. I tended to provoke that reaction. "Six of one, half-dozen of the other, I guess. I didn't exactly expect to find your weak spot just from helping you out."

She sighed. "What do I need to do for you to keep it quiet?"

As practical as ever; turn it into a simple business transaction. "How about an even trade? I keep this quiet no matter what, and you do the same for anything I want at a later date, no questions asked." That could come in use later down the road, though I couldn't imagine why I would need to withhold something from Kirito or Asuna. "As for my reward for rescuing you..." I thought about it for a second. "Before we discuss that, how about you tell me why those Sand Pups were up on this floor?" The monsters from one floor generally stayed on that floor; seeing one on a floor one higher was almost unthinkable, let alone ten floors above theirs. Though, thinking about the subject, I seemed to recall something Kirito and Asuna mentioned about a couple of elves from the eight floor on the third. It was possible a quest had spawned these Sand Pups.

"A quest," Argo said, confirming my suspicions. "I managed to stumble into this one, and didn't realize it was fighting those things." She shuddered. "And that's 1250 Col," she added, almost as an afterthought.

I rolled my eyes, but paid up; she was ruthless when it came to business, but her information was worth the weight in gold. Col, rather, but semantics. "Well, I was looking for something to do today," I said. "So I might as well tag along on your quest."

"So you're riding along as your reward?" Argo asked.

"Correct," I said with a nod. Then I smirked. "Someone needs to save you from the big bad puppies if they show up again."

Argo twitched her nose at me. "That doesn't even merit a response." She turned and started walking through the forest. "C'mon, it's this way." As she walked, she swiped open her menu and sent me a party request. I accepted automatically, racing after her to catch up.

The rest of the quest was completed without much hassle; Argo talked to some lake spirit, the two of us killed some more monsters, she talked to the lake spirit again... it was all rather tedious. I much preferred fighting on the front lines, where I could stretch my mind and give it something to focus on when I wasn't sleeping. Quests, performed by oneself, never particularly appealed to me; I didn't mind completing them, though I preferred to do so when with another person. That way I could talk to them while completing the steps of the quest, splitting my attention and keeping my mind busy. When it was just me, I hated the tedium.

"So, dogs, huh?" I said, breaking the silence as Argo and I were wandering through the forest. "Why them?"

"They just freak me out," Argo muttered. I did my best to keep a straight face, covering my mouth with my hand; I must have failed to hide my small grin as well as I had thought, because she glared at me. "Like you don't have any weird fears like that."

I thought for a second. "Anything with six or more legs. Courtesy of a Labyrinth mini-boss on the 26th Floor." The Crawlerpede still featured prominently in my admittedly rare nightmares; as one of the few monsters that came close to killing me, along with several other mid-bosses, it was understandable that there would still be some trauma.

Argo nodded. "I think I remember it. Red bug, nearly killed you, you wore its shell as a trophy, that thing?"

"Yup." I chuckled. "Still have the armor, though it's all busted up. But yeah. Four legs, perfectly fine. Add two and I'm outta there." I was relaxing around Argo slightly; I could feel the mental guards I had up starting to drop. My words flowed slightly more, I cracked a deadpan joke occasionally, and I felt more comfortable overall.

Argo smiled. "So you get it, huh." She poked my side. "What about Asuna? Is she an irrational fear too?"

I widened my eyes deliberately. "No, she's a very, _very_ rational one. Have you seen her Cutlery Sword Skills? Those forks and knives are terrifying."

"Not that," Argo said with a sigh. "I mean losing her. This is a death game, after all."

I sighed. "Losing her? Asuna and Kirito are my best friends, Argo." They were also my only friends, but that was beside the point. "If anything happened to them..." I closed my eyes, and when I opened them I pierced Argo with my gaze. "If anything happened to them I would make the fucker that hurt them suffer." I protect what is mine.

Argo shuddered. "Note to self. Don't hurt Asuna or Kirito or the crazy guy will hurt you."

I relaxed and grinned sheepishly. "Sorry. I didn't mean to frighten you." I ignored her reassurance that I didn't scare her. "No, I mean it. I shouldn't threaten you, even accidentally." She was too useful to alienate.

"Aw, Ry, developing a soft spot for me?"

"You're a person I can stand for a reasonable amount of time," I said with a chuckle. "You've earned a bit of leeway in my book." I blinked. "Hey, wait, what did you call me?"

Argo smirked at me. "Oh, nothing. If you really want to know, that'll be 500 Col."

I sighed theatrically. "Bite me." We walked in silence for a bit. "Asuna and Kirito aren't the only ones I care about, you know," I said almost absently. "I have a cat back home."

"Really?" Argo asked. "Me too. What's yours like?"

I snickered. "Eats a lot, sleeps a lot, vibrates occasionally, and demands my attention at all times."

Argo nodded sagely. "Ah. A typical cat." She studied my face briefly. "Heh. You love your cat, don't you?"

"He's better than the majority of people I talk to," I said. "Like Kirito and Asuna, just his presence is enough for me. I don't need anything else from him." Unlike the majority of people, whose presence I tolerated solely because I needed or wanted something from them. People could be loosely categorized into two groups; people that had something I wanted and people that didn't. The latter were people I had no reason to deal with, and the former were only in that group until I got what I wanted from them. To me, most people were disposable - and like trash, it irritated me to be constantly surrounded by it. One of the reasons I tried to keep my desk relatively neat.

Naturally, the same theory worked in reverse; the majority of humanity couldn't care less about me, and I accepted that fact, as I was under no illusion that people could actually like me. I required nobody's assistance to survive, and used others because that meant I was required to put forth less effort. That did, of course, mean that if people were nice to me, that usually implied that they needed or wanted something from me, something that only I could get them. Who would want to spend time in my company willingly otherwise? I had deliberately cultivated the image that I was a cold person with a barbed tongue and ready wit - spending any amount of time in my presence typically left one with emotional trauma. To that effect, I had classified people in two other categories - people that wanted something from me and people that had gotten what they needed. Everyone wanted something from me, after all.

But Kirito and Asuna were different; they weren't in any category - and like them, I didn't classify my cat. He was my friend, and that was all that mattered to me; in fact, he was the only creature I truly loved unconditionally. "Plus, he doesn't talk much. You'd be surprised at the quality of companionship I have from my cat."

Argo stretched. "My cat meows a lot, so I really can't say. Hey, what did you mean you don't need anything from him?"

Ah, I had evidently never mentioned that to Argo - understandably, as most people resented being viewed as disposable. "Let's not go there, hm? Probably best for all involved to let that remain a secret." I caught her beginning the familiar step of swiping open her menu to start bribing me. "And I won't talk no matter how much you pay me, so don't even try. I would rather you don't hate me."

Argo grinned at me. "So long as you still come to me with money, I'll never hate you."

I poked her nose, and she squeaked in shock. "Good to know your loyalty to money stays constant, Argo. I can trust you in that regard, right?"

"Of course. I'm an honest info broker." She grinned. "Once I'm bought, I stay bought." I watched her steadily, knowing better, and she finally relented. "...or until someone pays me more." There it was.

I shrugged. "You act rationally, which is more than I can say for the majority of humanity."

"Should I feel complimented?"

"Very," I said. "Rational actions are remarkably rare these days. It's nice to know someone who is trustworthy in that regard." Perhaps she could be trusted in other regards as well... It was an avenue of thought worth pursuing and I did so, falling silent.

"Well, looks like we're back at the town," Argo's voice broke through my thoughts. I looked around me to find that we were already back at the main settlement of the 67th Floor. "This was fun. We should do it again some time."

I smirked, one side of my mouth curving up. "What, me rescuing you from those terrible, terrible monsters?" Argo glared at me, and I raised my hands in defeat. "Right, right, keeping it quiet. You have my word." That was something that I did only rarely - once I gave a direct promise, I would do my best to keep it. After all, it was so much easier to manipulate others when they trusted me.

Argo studied me for a bit, then nodded. "You've kept your word before, so I guess that's good enough. And you have one favor saved - when you call it in, I'll keep any piece of information quiet no matter what until you tell me otherwise." I shrugged; that was good enough terms for me. After all, having someone in my debt was always good. I didn't know _why _she insisted on having that fact kept quiet, but I wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth.

I started to walk into town when Argo reached out and grabbed my upper arm. I froze, and then turned to face her. "What is it?" The physical contact wasn't exactly all that bothersome, but I gently pulled away regardless.

Argo grinned up at me. "Want to get some dinner? My treat."

Let it never be said that I passed up free food. "Well, if you insist..." I chuckled. "Where to? If you're paying, I know I can afford to eat quite a bit."

"I know a great ramen place on the 46th Floor," Argo said. Then she sighed. "My poor wallet..."

I snorted. "Oh, don't give me that. I'm fairly sure you're one of the richer players in the game, thanks to your extortionate prices." I had over three million Col, a third of it from the deal with Argo, and I knew she had to be doing better than me. "You could probably buy a house _and_ furniture and still have more money than me..."

The two of us bickered amicably to the Warp Gate in the center of the town, where we teleported to the 46th Floor. Oh, and dinner was delicious - nothing like food being free to make it taste better.

* * *

**This one was just some interaction between Argo and Rythin; I figured it would be neat. It also explains why she kept the news about Kayaba quiet – she owed Rythin for keeping the dog thing silent, and she pays her debts.**

**And remember, this is before Rythin falls in love with Argo. So he's still oblivious to how she feels, partially because he he's just that clueless about females and partially because he still doesn't believe that people could actually care about him.**

**Remember, leaving a review is good manners - if you didn't like it, tell me why and I can do better; if you did like it, tell me why and I can do more of that.**


	2. What If?

**Sidequest: What If?**

**Starting this out with a warning: this is most definitely NOT CANON. I repeat, this is NOT CANON. I expect the fallout from this to be _glorious_.**

* * *

**November 2nd, 2024**

I took a deep breath. "I think I've fallen in love with you."

I exhaled slowly and continued. "I'm fairly certain about this. I know how my emotions work and I know what I'm feeling." I fell quiet and waited; silence was the only thing that I could hear. I didn't look at Argo, choosing instead to stare at the crackling fire in the fireplace. Part of me wanted to blurt out, 'Just kidding!', take everything back, but I ignored that insistent mental voice. I meant what I had said and I would face the consequences. I knew doing this was going to hurt one way or another, but it would have been harder and more painful in the long run to hold on to what I knew. I had examined the pros and cons, weighed the possible outcomes, and made my decision. It had been hard to tell Argo, but I needed to do it.

My emotions were strange things. As Yui had mentioned, I rarely shifted from my emotional equilibrium of a general malaise, only showing more than just trace emotions when I was with my friends and I could lower my shields. I controlled myself by constantly watching what I was feeling; at first, it was a matter of understanding what caused the emotion. After enough time had passed, however, that had become so automatic that it seemed like I didn't feel anything at all. That wasn't necessarily true, obviously, as I was still human and still had emotions as evidenced by the fact that I had fallen in love with Argo. The important thing, however, was that I almost always knew what I was feeling and why I was feeling that way. When I started having strange reactions to Argo's presence, I was confused. I had never experienced love before, and as such I had no idea how to control it. I had a vague idea of what it had to be; after all, I knew what my other emotions felt like. Infatuation was out, as it required a person to be physically attracted to another - something I would never have to worry about. Affection for my friends was the next most likely candidate, but that could be ignored as well; I had felt affection for Kirito and Asuna, and the emotion for Argo was stronger than that. It could only be the same thing that Asuna and Kirito exhibited; love.

I knew intellectually I was capable of falling in love; I just never expected it to happen. I was asexual; that only meant that I felt no physical attraction toward either gender. I could still feel emotional attraction toward others, though as a result of my deliberate isolation from others and inability to trust others enough to allow myself to emote normally I had never felt that particular tugging. But with Argo, I could drop my shields and be myself. I trusted her and could allow myself to, well, feel. It shouldn't have been a surprise to me to find that I had fallen for her, but it was so far out of the realm of possibilities that I had considered that it was a complete shock.

The silence stretched on interminably long, and I stared resolutely at the fire, refusing to move. Part of me wanted Argo to simply stand up and leave; it would be less painful that way. And then I heard a sigh from where Argo was sitting and I turned despite myself - she was staring at the fire, an unreadable expression on her face. "Rythin..." she said, and there was a catch in her voice. "I..." She sighed again. "I thought the same thing for a long time."

I knew it. What a fucking idiot I was.

I chuckled to myself. "I can read between the lines, Argo. Would you mind...just..." My voice caught in my throat and I blinked, swallowing. "Just telling me why?"

Argo smiled softly. "Of course, Rythin. I owe you that much." She sat back in her chair and looked at me; I flinched and avoided her eyes. "It's just that...you scare me." I scared her? But...I had... "What you're capable of is frightening, and even though you've promised to always keep me safe I still worry." I...but...I promised...couldn't she trust me? Argo must have noticed the look on my face because her expression softened slightly. "I'm sorry, Rythin, but I just can't trust that you won't hurt me if you get angry."

The world stopped. She couldn't trust me? She didn't believe me when I promised to keep her safe?

"I'm sorry. It would probably be better if we had less contact; if I hear anything about you, Kirito, or Asuna I'll tell another info broker and they'll pass the message along." I heard Argo say. She had been sitting in front of me, but I couldn't see her. I couldn't move either; it was like my body had just shut down. "Goodbye, Rythin." A door opened and closed, and Argo walked out of my life.

I just sat there, frozen. She didn't trust me. And she left. Slowly, my whole body started to shake; she had left after saying she didn't trust me. I had promised to always protect her and she didn't believe me. The shuddering passed, and I could move again - there was just nowhere for me to go. Something touched my cheek and I raised a hand - I felt water, and realized I was crying. No, I couldn't cry, so I forced myself to stop. But it hurt so much...

Ah. It hurt because I had foolishly let someone get close to me, to see my weaknesses and then attack them. This was the fourth time I had been betrayed by someone I considered a close friend, that I cared about, and it was the worst pain yet. Maybe it hurt more because Argo had been the most important person in my life, the person I cared for above everyone and everything else? What a fool I had been... Had I really thought I deserved love and happiness, that someone could love me? I was just a monster.

A monster. A misanthropic, depressed and repressed, isolated, betrayed monster. I started to chuckle; my thoughts were almost funny, in a way. I hurt because I had been lying to myself, and this was my punishment for daring to try to find happiness. I had trusted Argo with my pain and my sorrow, and this is what happened.

Never again. I would never - _could_ never - trust anyone again, never let someone get close to me; they would just lie and betray me in the end. I threw my head back and laughed, the sound bouncing off the walls and filling the space; I knew it probably sounded insane but I didn't care. It hurt so much, Argo's absence; I hadn't realized just how much she meant to me until she was gone. So what would I do to repair the damage? I couldn't exactly go on living like this - my effectiveness was all but shot to hell and back. What did they use to do back in the day before surgery was advanced enough to save damaged limbs? Ah, that's right.

They amputated. Heh... Doesn't actually seem like a bad idea, not having to ever care again...

So I performed the same process on my heart, slicing away and carving at the part of me that hurt when I thought of Argo. Memories, I tried to forget; emotions, I forced myself to control. I would never let someone close to me ever again, and I would never trust anyone. The world had proved to me that the only person I could trust was myself. Everyone else just wanted something from me, and they would leave me the second they got what they wanted. There was no sense in forming attachments to people because I would just get stabbed in the back. I wanted my heart to freeze so thoroughly that nothing could ever thaw it again.

I chuckled. "What a fool I am, yes?" And I was talking to myself. So long as I didn't answer or lose an argument against myself, I was fine. "And here I thought I could be happy." My heart clenched, and I gritted my teeth. "But all that happened was another person left me. Just like the others." My approach in middle school and the beginning of high school had just been proven to be correct; if I didn't care about anyone or anything I wouldn't get hurt. I laughed, and shook my head. "I was such a fool. An idiot, a moron... whatever the word is." At that moment, and out of everyone in the world, there was nobody I hated more than myself.

There was a high probability I had finally snapped - my mental stability had always been somewhat uncertain - and I didn't care. I did, however, doubt that I was insane; I was just... irrational. Less than sane but more than insane; did being aware of the insanity lessen its impact? It was seductive, though; the idea of just letting go, letting the rage and anger take control and riding it... what fun. There was no point in lying to myself anymore; I was a killer and a monster, and nothing could ever change that.

* * *

**November 6th, 2024**

A message appeared on my screen, and I looked at it. Who could possibly be messaging me, and why should I care about it? I opened the message and scanned the contents - blah, blah, 75th Floor, blah, blah, blah, recon team destroyed, meeting the next day, blah. Nothing I cared about. But then the sender of the message caught my eyes, and I frowned in thought. Kayaba had sent this message to me in his guise of Heathcliff, the leader of the Knights of the Blood. My eyes narrowed, and I laughed. There was an acceptable target; I could kill him and nobody would care.

What was it that Yui had said? I repressed my emotions, rather than let them play out - it wasn't a healthy habit, she said. Very well, then - I wouldn't repress anger and hate anymore. I felt the killing rage flood through me, and I made no attempt to stop it; my hands clenched and unclenched. I wanted to kill something, _needed_ to feel someone's life being ended by my hands. It would be so much fun to kill Kayaba; he thought he was invincible and watching his face when I took his life and he shattered to pieces would be so much fun. My eyes glowed with unholy glee as I grinned fiercely. Kayaba wanted me to fight in the boss battle? Very well, I'd fight in the boss battle. And then when he wasn't looking, I'd slit his throat.

I had no problem with killing people, you see. And if I failed, well... it wasn't as if anyone would care if I died. Hell, maybe I even wanted to die - at least it would end this loneliness.

* * *

**November 7th, 2024**

The next morning, I sent Kayaba a message. It was a simple message, asking him when and where to be to join the raid. I had no intention of seeing him in person; any slight change in my demeanor could give away my intentions, as he was excellent at reading people. Ah, but a simple message subtly telling him to shove his orders up his ass? That was perfectly in-character for the me he knew. I laughed as I sent the message, the crazed sound bouncing around the empty room. I brought my hand up to my face, unconsciously hiding my eyes from the world; peering through the gaps in my fingers, I smiled slowly. I only needed to restrain myself for several more hours.

Kayaba replied some time later, telling me that the raiding party would assembling and leaving for the 75th Floor Labyrinth at 1:00 in the afternoon. I checked the time; it was just after 10:30. The probability of being found out if I were to actually meet Kayaba in person were far higher than if I kept myself hidden until the end. I doubted I could avoid him during the boss fight, but during the fight my bloodlust and rage would be mistaken; he would hopefully think the target was the boss.

Should I include any players in my plan? I mused on the idea, building and playing out futures in my mind, before shaking my head and discarding the idea. No, I had no guarantee they wouldn't betray me to Kayaba. Even if I kept them in the dark as much as possible, the likelihood that someone would let a piece of information slip grew exponentially as the number of players included in the plan increased. Therefore, I should include no players in the plan to ensure that Kayaba would remain unaware. Simple, cold logic with no room for emotion; exactly how I liked it.

Noon rolled around and I stirred from my room; I hadn't left the house all week. I probably should have gone out to eat something, but I had enough food in my storage to last me. A perk of living as a bachelor, I suppose; I had no need to impress anyone, and my lifestyle choices were mine and mine alone.

Ah, but I was going to leave the building; best to put on the guise of sanity that would suit my purposes. I took a deep breath, rolled my shoulders, and exited my house.

I teleported to the 75th Floor without encountering anybody I knew, fortuitously. As my vision cleared, I looked around; players were watching me out of the corner of their eyes. The second that they realized I had caught them, however, they pretended that they were just talking to their friends. But I knew they were talking about me. I was alone and surrounded by potential enemies, any one of which could stab me in the back the second I wasn't on my guard.

I could feel their stares as I walked through the crowd; I didn't imagine it when their whispers died down as I passed. They were talking about me, I just knew it - that was the only reason for them to be whispering and staring. I grew tense as their presence increased; I felt like people were pressing in on me, cutting off my ability to breathe. The air felt thick and heavy, and I had to struggle for each breath.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a familiar brown hood, and it was like someone punched me in the stomach. I stared at the hood, trembling slightly, and only relaxed once the player turned around and turned out to be a male. It wasn't Argo; my eyes had been playing tricks on me. "It's not her... it's not her..." I repeated that mantra under my breath, clenching and relaxing my hands unconsciously. Why did it hurt so much? My heart should have been frozen; I shouldn't hurt any more, so why...? And why was I feeling lonely?

Suddenly, someone's hand landed on my left shoulder. "Hey, Rythin!" My eyes widened; an enemy? I drew my Nightblade and spun on my left foot, giving myself some room and freeing myself from their grasp. I didn't see what had touched me; I just saw its form. Throat was a prime target, as were the eyes and solar plexus. If those failed, the ears were the next target to disorient the attacker. I swung my Nightblade at its throat, only to have it repelled several inches from the skin by a purple hexagon. I snarled and used the momentum to lunge forward with a punch, going for the solar plexus, only to halt when I finally realized who had touched me. Klein was watching me, eyes wide and hands raised. "Uh...okay. Not touching you again. Got it."

I managed to regain enough of my dubious sanity and sheathed my dagger. "...Sorry. I'm on edge today." There was no warmth in my voice or meaning to the apology; it was just something I said to ensure that the conversation patterns would flow smoothly and facilitate my escape.

Someone else chuckled. "That was a little bit extreme for 'on edge', bro." I looked over to see Agil standing there, watching us. "Way I saw it, you were trying to kill him."

I folded my arms and looked away. "I didn't know who it was." What did Agil and Klein want? Why were they bothering with me? I couldn't see anything they could want from me. "Now that I know, there won't be any problems." Klein already had his guild and his katana; I couldn't give him anything other than money and raw power. And Agil had his shop bringing in plenty of money - by the appearance of the high-quality axe on his back, he was doing just fine. His armor was top-notch, and he was strong enough that I couldn't see any reason for him to require my presence. I realized bitterly that they must want any information I had on the boss; joke was on them, I didn't know anything.

Klein grinned, though there seemed to be some sort of shadow behind it. "Hey, no worries, man. Just save it for the boss, alright?" I nodded without saying anything else. As he and Agil got into a discussion about something else, I quietly drifted away from them. I had neither a need nor a desire for their company. As I drifted through the crowd, simply wandering, I realized my head was pounding. Likely an after-effect of losing control like I had. I had no desire to be near other people; the difficulty of maintaining control rose dramatically when I was around others. I just wanted to kill, to maim...

Suddenly, the teleportation gate activated again, catching my attention and prompting me to look over. My eyes narrowed and my lips drew back in a fierce grin as I saw Kayaba striding forward, surrounded by four high-ranking members in the Knights of the Blood. There he was - my prey. I relaxed and forced my expression back into neutrality, masking the bloodlust and hate as well as I could. There would be time for that later, oh yes. Kayaba passed me and our eyes met for a brief moment; he smiled and continued on his way. I frowned, not sure what to make of that split second - had he somehow realized that I was planning on exposing and murdering him? That should have been impossible. No, it was more likely that he was just pleased another piece had moved to his whims. It didn't bother me that he considered me a pawn, and I had no reason to be bothered - he had always been very clear that was all I was to him. It was funny, in a way; the man I was going to kill was the only one that had been entirely honest with me.

Kayaba raised up a Corridor Crystal. "Corridor, open!" The crystal in his hand glowed a brilliant white as the air in front of him started rippling; its job complete, the crystal shattered. A rather expensive way of making a point - was he trying to give away his identity? Whatever reason he had, I wasn't interested in it. All I wanted was to kill. Kayaba turned around to address the assembled players. "Well, here we go." He walked forward and was swallowed up by the air, instantly transported to the matching gate just outside of the boss room.

Group by group, the parties filed through the portal. I could go through whenever I wanted - my status as a solo player gave me certain privileges - but I couldn't trust any of the other players. As soon as I was through, I was vulnerable to being stabbed in the back. Therefore, logic dictated that I go through last. As I exited the portal, I saw the forms of Kirito and Asuna just in front of me. The second I was through the portal, it closed behind me; there were only three methods of escape left. Defeat the boss, use a warp crystal, or fight back down the Labyrinth. But the boss room was a crystal trap, preventing players from using them while inside. The second we stepped foot inside the boss room, two of the three routes would be blocked off. It was kill or be killed. My favorite.

Asuna turned around as the portal closed. She started to smile, but suddenly stopped and studied me for a few seconds. "Rythin... are you alright?" Asuna, she... she had always been concerned about my well being. She had even confessed to me once, said that she had been attracted to me. My shoulders tensed as I thought about that, before I forced myself not to remember. I refused to be hurt again. So why was Asuna concerned about me? There must be a reason... ah, of course. She wanted something from me; that was the only possible explanation for why she would try to get so close. But what did she want? I couldn't ask her directly - she'd just lie to me. "You seem... angry."

Kirito grinned. "More so than usual?" Kirito as well... what did he stand to gain by associating with me? I would ask him, but it was the same deal with Asuna; he had evidently sunk many hours into getting close to me, and would only lie if confronted. I had no way of getting the truth out of him without falling for whatever trap he had planned. But why couldn't I see what they wanted? It shouldn't have been hard - there were only so many things I could do well, and none of them clicked. Whatever they wanted, I couldn't predict it, and that was dangerous.

I blinked and looked away. "It's nothing."

Asuna reached out and laid her hand on my upper arm. "Rythin, if there's anything-"

I flinched away violently and glared at her. "Don't touch me!" I hissed. How dare she touch me? Pretending that she cared - it made me sick. "Don't _ever_ touch me!" I had thought they were my friends, but that couldn't be possible. Nobody could ever like me, Argo had proven that. It was an act - it had to be.

Asuna and Kirito stared at me in shock; I had never lashed out at them like that. But then, I had never realized how alone I truly was before. Asuna seemed so hurt by my reaction, and Kirito's jaw had dropped. I whirled and stalked away, leaving them behind in the crowd. My control had never been so lax before, but I wouldn't let it stop me. I felt the killing rage rise up, and I didn't force it back down. Although I wouldn't have my opportunity to kill Kayaba until the boss was defeated, I needed to be in a fever pitch before I could fight him. As I let the killing rage fill my body, the players around me became less than human; they were just strangely-shaped insects at that point. I would glance at a person and see my hands around their throat, or my dagger in their chest; all I wanted to do was kill. Just to kill and injure and maim, that would be so much fun, yes it would.

My head hurt. Kayaba said something, but all I could hear was a high-pitched ringing in my ears. My heart was pounding, and my mouth was dry; I was in a killing rage. The doors slammed open and the masses charged forward; I let them flow past me as I steadily walked toward the open door. My pace never faltered, even as the doors started closing; they slammed shut just as I stepped through. I was unconcerned - the only thing I wanted to do was kill. To that extent, I drew my dagger and grinned. Plenty of things to kill inside.

The boss fight was a blur; I was in a feral and insane state. I probably wasn't even human. There were a few brief moments where I was almost rational, but they were few and far between; the same things were present during each one - a large boss, several people clustered around it, and a burning hatred and killing rage that dyed my vision red. Or maybe that was Future Step; I had no way of knowing the difference. Maybe there was no difference.

When I came back to my senses, I was kneeling on the ground in a somewhat uncomfortable position and my head was pounding. Shifting my legs to a more comfortable position, I looked around me; Kayaba was the only player standing. And he wasn't far from me, facing away! Excellent. His back was wide open and there was nothing that could stop me. The players near me were all lying on the ground, exhausted, so nobody could interfere.

I felt the killing rage come up on me again and I embraced the emotion, letting it fill my body with energy. I drew the dagger and lunged forward, clearing the distance between me and Kayaba almost instantly. He only had enough time to turn and realize what I was doing before my glowing blade slashed out in a vicious crescent arc; if it connected, his throat would be torn apart. I wanted to end it in one blow.

Of course, it never connected; three feet away from his body, the system's protection kicked in and my attack was knocked away. I spun with the force and slid back several feet, taking in the image - Kayaba was staring at me, eyes wide, and a purple hexagon was blinking. The words 'Immortal Object' were on it. He was revealed.

"Come out and play, Kayaba!" I shouted, taunting him. "Right now. You and me, no holds barred." I could _hear_ the madness in my voice; it wasn't exactly a pleasant sound, but I reveled in it.

Whispers started circulating around the boss room; Kayaba grimaced and opened his mouth, but thought better of it at the last second. "This is a surprise, Rythin," he said instead. "And here I thought you were going to keep it a secret. You did make a deal, after all."

_That_ bit of news caused a stir, but I didn't take my eyes off of him. "Trying to shift their attention? It won't work, Kayaba. That protection damned you, exposed you for who you really are." I smirked, an insane gleam in my eyes. "So will you fight me, or are you too scared?"

"Commander Heathcliff, wh-what's going on?" Asuna stammered. "What are you two talking about?"

Kayaba looked around at the stunned faces of the various players, and smiled coldly. "Yes, I am Akihiko Kayaba. And now that my identity's been revealed by Rythin, it should come as no surprise that I am the final boss on the top floor."

"Forget the monologue," I snapped. "It doesn't matter any more. I just want your answer - yes or no?" He would have to fight me. There was no way he could refuse.

One of the Knights of the Blood members looked up and glared at Kayaba. He grasped his sword; it rattled from his shaking. "Our loyalty... our hope...how dare you. How dare you!" he shouted, leaping into the air to attack Kayaba. "How dare you!"

There was the sound of someone moving behind me; I couldn't spare the time to look, so I had to guess where they would strike. Whatever weapon they were using was probably centered on the small of my back; an easy enough strike to dodge. So I sidestepped and cut out with my dagger; I encountered a small bit of resistance, telling me my attack was successful. I looked down to see a player lying on the ground and clutching at a gaping wound on their arm, their sword a few feet in front of them.

Eyes cold, I kicked him over and looked at his outfit; it looked like some random small-time guild member that thought he could get a sneak attack in while my back was turned. I snarled and placed my boot on his head, preparing to kill him; making an example of him would stop the others. Because I could feel the hate from the other people in the room like a physical presence. But the hate came the strongest from behind me, and I glanced over to see people dressed similarly - his teammates. His friends; they'd back him in whatever he did. As I watched, they were struggling to stand despite their exhaustion.

And it hurt, to watch that. Hurt bad. Because I'd never have those friends, those people to support me when I needed it. My vision blurred, and I brought my hands to my eyes to dry them, hiding it behind a pretense of rubbing my forehead. It wasn't just a cover; my head hurt. But despite my tears, it didn't hurt in my chest - maybe my heart was finally frozen.

I looked back to the player on the ground in front of me and his death flashed in front of my eyes; I would press harder and harder, slowly grinding him into the dirt under the weight of my foot. Heh, but just before he died from the Nightblade's poison, I would slam the heel of my boot on his neck, breaking it and killing him. It would be slow, humiliating, and an incredible amount of fun. Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun.

"There will be no need for that, Rythin," Kayaba said. My attacker suddenly stiffened, and I looked up to see Kayaba's own assailant lying on the ground, paralyzed. Suddenly, every other player in the boss room froze and toppled over; Kayaba had paralyzed them all with his console. I briefly wondered if he had healed the poison, and then I remembered it didn't matter in the slightest. "Very well, I will accept your challenge. If you win, everyone in the game will be freed immediately. You will have cleared the game." He slammed his tower shield on the ground, planting his feet and bracing himself. "The outcome should I win is obvious - you will die. In addition, I will withdraw to the final floor and await for the day the Dual Wielder arrives." Kirito, Kirito, it was always Kirito! Care about me, damn it!

I bared my teeth in a crazed approximation of a smile. "Let the games begin."

I dashed forward, circling around Kayaba. Step, step, step... I let the madness reign; it told me to strike at his head, so I did. Kayaba shifted his shield and blocked the blow - of course, his Unique Skill gave him perfect defense - throwing me off balance. Instead of regaining my balance, I spun on my foot and and lashed out with a roundhouse kick, following my instincts and my practice. The bloodlust and rage gave me extra strength and speed, but it still wasn't enough.

I attacked relentlessly and Kayaba blocked effortlessly, despite my best efforts. It was exhilarating and terrifying, terrifying and exhilarating. I was laughing maniacally as I attacked to stop myself from crying, the crazed sound ringing falsely through the room. Every other player was silent as I attacked and attacked, my every move being blocked by Kayaba's perfect defense. He frowned. "Attacking with anger? This is unlike you, Rythin." I snarled something and threw myself forward, letting my anger drive me and force me to faster speeds – I had to be faster, had to be stronger, so I could kill. I couldn't use Sword Skills; he designed all of them, so he would know the counters. Besides, my anger would only let me use brute force. But I only needed to land one successful blow with the Nightblade, and the fight would be as good as over.

Suddenly, Kayaba thrust forward with his tower shield; caught off guard, I jumped at the last second and barely cleared it. Using it as a spring board, I launched myself off of it and into the air. Kayaba looked up - I looked down. I drew back my dagger, aiming for his neck; the second I was within range, I could lash out and kill Kayaba. My blood was boiling as I prepared to kill him, prepared to take another life. My eyes were wide and insane as I laughed and laughed and laughed...

And then I stopped moving, my laugh cutting off in a choking gurgle and my arm refusing to move. I couldn't feel my hands at all, and the Nightblade fell to the ground in a clatter. Someone shouted something, but I couldn't understand it. My headache was back in force, pounding away; the ringing in my ears was even louder than before. I tried to say something, but the only thing to come out of my mouth was a choked sound - I would have swallowed to clear my throat, but my mouth was dry. I looked down to see that Kayaba had stabbed forward with his sword, piercing my arm and my chest with a single stroke. So that was why I couldn't move. I snarled incoherently and watched as my health drained, bit by little bit trickling away as gravity pulled my body down Kayaba's sword.

So, I was going to die. Alone. Unloved. Not that it really surprised me; I wasn't deserving of love and affection. I was alone; the only people in the world I thought of as friends would betray me in the end, as was inevitable – Argo had already lied to me and betrayed my trust.

I just wanted to kill, to watch the world burn. To know that someone cared about me, to know that I wasn't alone. Was that so bad?

Then my vision went black. My body burst apart into polygons.

And I died.

* * *

**That bit at the beginning, where Rythin figures out he's in love via process of elimination, still amuses me. Though, that's the only thing about this sidequest that amuses me...**

**If the narration feels a bit strange, it should; Rythin isn't exactly stable without Argo - mainly because he thought she lied to him. If he hadn't died so quickly, the rage would have eventually died away to be replaced by depression, leaving Rythin unable to trust anyone and completely shattered.**

**...**

**...**


	3. Romantic Getaway

**Sidequest: Romantic Getaway**

* * *

**May 19th, 2026**

"You want us to what." My voice was flat with surprise and confusion.

Argo grinned at me from where she was sitting upside down on the chair. It looked somewhat uncomfortable, but she swore it was fun to see the world inverted. "I want us to go to a partner competition."

I sighed. "I heard you the first time, but the words didn't make any more sense this time either. What partner competition?" Swiping open her menu, she pulled out a flyer and handed it to me. I scanned the item and raised an eyebrow. "I guess this seems interesting..."

Argo grinned, her hair falling haphazardly around her head. "Aw, c'mon, Ry. I think it would be fun. Besides, it's a competition and I know you can't stay away from those."

"Damn me and my competitive streak," I grinned. "Fine, fine, you win." I scanned the paper again, taking in the details. "So, it's in the Pooka territory? That's a bit far for one day."

Argo pushed herself to her feet through some sort of contortion that left me astounded despite my habit of doing the same thing while fighting. "Well, then, we should get going, shouldn't we?" Grabbing my hand and pulling, she half-dragged me out of the apartment we shared. It was large enough that we weren't cramped; however, one of the rooms was devoted to information storage for both me and Argo, so we couldn't entertain our friends very well. That's why we always went over to Kirito and Asuna's log cabin whenever people wanted to hang out. We did have Din for information retrieval, but by a private agreement Argo and I only asked him for help when we needed something immediately; we wanted him to be able to spend as much time with Yui as possible, after all. Besides, I usually ended up paying Argo for information, since Din didn't have the same level of system access that Yui did.

I only complained about the dragging out of habit more than anything; it wasn't as if I really minded being with Argo. I loved her, after all; spending time with her was a gift, not a punishment. We took to the skies, flying side by side to the northwest. The Pooka camp was about a day's flight away, so if we wanted to get there in time for the competition we'd have to stagger the trip over a few days. There were some caves along the way that counted as safe zones, but they were few and far between. Besides, we still had school; the teachers would get somewhat irritated if we blew that off to play ALO.

Two days later, we touched down in the home city of the Pookas; looking around, it was pretty lively. The place looked almost like a carnival, actually - it had been years since I had been to a carnival, but I still remembered the overall feeling of the event. The Pookas were music-based classes and put on plenty of performances, so it made sense that many of the buildings in their home town would be able to host the performers - just looking around our immediate location, I saw a music hall and a theater. I turned to Argo and saw her looking around with equal interest. "Never been here before?" That was a bit of a shock, actually - Argo was an info broker and I had seen her notes on the Pooka cities. Like everything else, they were incredibly detailed.

Argo shook her head. "Nope. You?"

"Never until now. I've never been hired by the Pookas before." I raised an eyebrow as we started walking. "It's somewhat surprising that you haven't been here before, Argo. I thought you had notes on this place."

Argo smirked at me. "Trade secret, Ry. You're not getting my sources."

"Worth a shot."

There had been one time that a traveling group of Pooka performers had played in Yggdrasil City as part of a game-wide New Year's celebration; Argo, Din and I had attended, as well as the rest of our friends. The Pookas put on quite the live performance; their musical repertoire was almost entirely Celtic based, so plenty of players started dancing to the lively fiddle tunes. I was never a graceful dancer - despite my training in the martial arts and my fighting style being almost dance-like at times, I never developed that particular talent - and so I sat back and enjoyed the music while I watched my friends have fun. Kirito and Asuna had the time of their lives, and I had made a game of counting the different girls Klein danced with - he made it to at least five that I saw. Yui dragged Din off to dance in the sky, and I remembered smiling as I watched the two dance around. Back then, Din was still somewhat reticent around others - he took after me in that regard - so it was good that Yui had forced him to dance. Argo, on the other hand, knew that nothing was going to make me get up from my comfortable seat on the grass and so sat next to me, enjoying the music as well - had she asked me directly, I would have acquiesced and danced with her, but she never asked. When the urge to dance struck her, she'd trade with Asuna and dance with Kirito for a bit; poor guy never got a break.

We walked around for a bit, taking in the sights before making our way to the location marked on the flyer. As we approached the location, Argo drew closer to me slightly, her hand brushing mine occasionally. I looked around, evaluating the players around me; most were standing in male-female pairs, although there were a few same-sex groups talking animatedly. I didn't see anybody I recognized, though; I had half expected Kirito and Asuna to be waiting there. Argo noticed my gaze wandering around the assembled players and grabbed my hand. "Hey, let's go. We have to sign in."

"Lead the way," I said. She evidently knew where to go, so I had no problem following her. She led me to a person standing behind a desk - thanks to the lack of a color cursor, I realized she was an NPC.

Argo walked up to the desk. "We're registering."

"Certainly," the NPC said with a smile. I saw a small window appear in front of Argo; she immediately set to work typing and filling out boxes. Once Argo had finished entering whatever information was necessary, the box disappeared and the NPC smiled. "Thank you for entering the competition. There will be about a ten minute wait before we begin."

Argo looked at me, and I shrugged; I had no idea what to do for ten minutes. We wandered around until we found a bench in the shade; I sat down and Argo curled up next to me, leaning her head on my shoulder. I grinned at her. "Didn't get much sleep last night?"

Argo sighed, her eyes closed. "I did, but the shade feels great and your shoulder is bizarrely comfortable." I just chuckled and pulled out my harp - if I was going to wait ten minutes, I was going to enjoy myself while I did so. Strumming the strings, I did a few warm-up exercises that I had looked up online, even though they weren't strictly necessary; they were more for showing off my dexterity than anything else, since I played them without the system's assistance. A certain perk of being a computer programmer, that; my fingers were thin and nimble and I had no problem with the harder fingerings. "You play that thing like it was part of your body," Argo mumbled.

I chuckled softly. "To get good at it, it has to be," I replied. "Knowing how to play and knowing how to play well are two different things, after all." I swiped open my menu and started scrolling through, trying to find a song to play. "Any preferences on the song?" Argo murmured something in the negative and snuggled closer to me. "I'll take that as a no, then." I selected a song at random and let the system take over; the song was a soft and melodic piece. One of the better ones for harp, actually.

A pair of players - one male, one female - walked up while I was in the middle of the song. I didn't exactly want to bother with them, so I nudged Argo with my elbow without breaking the system's assistance - she was better with people than I was, anyway. She looked up and blinked at the two players that were standing in front of us. "Can we help you?"

The female player smiled. "We recognized you two, and figured we'd come over and say hello." I exchanged a glance with Argo; neither of us knew who these players were.

Argo turned back to the female player and frowned slightly in confusion. "I'm sorry, but we don't know you. It might be possible that you've mistaken us for someone else."

"I don't think so," the male player said with a shake of his head. "You two are Rythin and Argo, right?"

The harp song ended there and I let the last chord ring out before putting the harp down and looking up at them. "What gave it away?"

"Your appearances," the female player responded immediately. I looked at Argo and then at myself; she was right. Our equipment was relatively distinctive - I hadn't met anyone else with diamond gloves or another Imp with whisker markings on their cheeks. "We've both read the book and wanted to meet you in person."

I raised an eyebrow. "Sorry, but I don't know what you're talking about."

Argo leaned over. "The SAO book," she whispered in my ear. "It came out recently, remember?"

"Ah." I looked at the two players standing in front of me. "I hadn't been paying much attention to that, in all honesty. To me, it's just history."

"Aw, don't be like that," the female player said. "It was really cool. By the way, I'm Setyuna, and this is Weral."

"Nice to meet you," Argo and I chorused. From there, I let Argo take the lead in the conversation, choosing to just sit back and relax while only adding something to the dialogue when the opportunity presented itself. The two seemed fairly friendly, but I watched them anyway. No reason to lower my guard just because they said they were fans of ours, right?

A loud bell ringing caught our attention, and the conversation all around us died away as a man in a nice suit stepped up to a podium. He was another NPC, I noted, and watched him with interest. "Welcome, welcome!" the man said. "Thank you all for coming. I'll be your host, Jimmy Coiler, and I hope you all have an enjoyable time here at the Couple's Challenge."

I slowly turned to stare at Argo. "...Couple's Challenge?" Argo's only response was the smuggest grin I had ever seen, and I sighed. "God damn it."

Jimmy was still talking. "...and soon we'll be bringing you into the main auditorium for the interview. After that, we'll be moving on to the actual challenges. Is everybody ready?"

As the assembled players cheered and applauded, I continued to stare at Argo. "...interview?" Argo's smug grin didn't change in the slightest. "The flyer didn't mention anything about a Couple's Cha- you modified the flyer, didn't you?" If anything, her grin widened. "God _damn_ it."

"C'mon, Ry," Argo said. "It'll be fun. Besides, we can just go in there, stomp all over the competition, and get our prize."

I blinked. "There's a prize?" Argo nodded, and I cracked my knuckles. "Well, let's get to stomping, shall we? I hope you brought your good boots." Now that I had an incentive, nothing was going to stop me from winning that competition. Even if it was a 'Couple's Challenge', whatever the hell that was supposed to mean. We stood up and followed the rest of the players into a relatively spacious hallway. There was an open door at the end, and I could hear talking from the other side. This did not bode well.

"So, I couldn't help but hear you two talking about 'stomping the competition'," a smug voice said from beside me. Argo and I turned to see a male player with a large broadsword slung across his back and a female player by his side. I assumed that she was his girlfriend by the way she clung to his admittedly large arms possessively. "And I don't think it'll be as easy as you think. Because we're taking part, and there's no way you can win against us."

I studied the broadsword on his back, and then drew my dagger. I studied the Moonblade closely for a few seconds, and then turned to Argo. "My dick's bigger than his dick," I said without any inflection. Argo started to laugh, but turned it into a cough with a little bit of effort. I glanced at the player to find his face beet red with fury. "Oh, I'm sorry," I said. "Did I happen to offend you?" I turned to Argo. "Oh my, it seems my comment has offended."

With a visible effort and a small conversation with his girlfriend, the guy took a few steps back from apoplexy. "I'm going to make you an offer," he said through gritted teeth. "You agree to throw the competition and let us win, and I won't beat you into the ground for saying that." By the smug grin his girlfriend was throwing us, that must have been their plan all along - take offense to something said in the conversation, and then demand that the other players throw the challenges. I just made it very easy for them. Well, it wasn't as if he could actually follow through with his threat for several reasons; first, we were in a Safe Zone, and second, I could kill him before he could touch me.

I nodded. "That is a fair offer, and we will consider it immediately." Argo and I exchanged a brief glance, and I turned to them. "We've considered it in depth and have come to a conclusion." Problem for them was, intimidation didn't really work on me very well.

"And?" the guy demanded.

Argo smirked. "Go fuck yourself sideways." I watched him carefully; I thought the AmuSphere would automatically disconnect any player that was displaying abnormal biological signs, but I'd never seen it actually happen before. I wondered if this would count as a heart attack. The two players stalked off, mortally offended and probably planning different ways to get back at us, and Argo sighed. "Did you have to piss him off?"

"He irritated me," I replied.

"Everything irritates you!"

I grinned slightly. "Your point being?" Argo just rolled her eyes and muttered something about a muzzle. I looked ahead to see that several of the pairs had already gone through the door; Setyuna and Weral were walking into it as I watched, and the second they were through the cheering doubled in volume. I winced. "This is going to suck. I hate crowds..."

Argo patted my arm comfortingly. "If it's any consolation, a bunch more people are watching a live stream of this event."

"How would that be considered a consolation in _any_ way?" I demanded.

Argo shrugged. "Hell if I know."

The two of us waited for our turn until finally we were the only ones left. We approached the door as the registration NPC beckoned us forward, and I could hear Jimmy's voice. "...leader of the mercenary group Trinity and one of the few users of Future Step. With us we'll also be having one of the best info brokers in the game. Please welcome the famous pair, Rythin and Argo!" That was our cue; the NPC shooed us through the door and we stepped out onto a stage. The cheering doubled in volume, and then doubled again - my head was starting to hurt from the sheer volume. Walking over, we took a seat on a couch facing Jimmy Coiler. "Well, you two are certainly popular," he said with a laugh. The audience died down as the interview started. "So, what made you two want to take this Challenge?"

I pointed at Argo. "She tricked me." At that, the audience burst out laughing.

Argo smacked me playfully, rolled her eyes, and smiled. "Shut up, you. I thought it would be fun, and you wouldn't have agreed otherwise."

I looked at her with a fond grin. "All you had to do was ask," I purred. The crowd sighed at our public display of affection, and Argo and I shared a secret grin. It was working; all we had to do was play the roles expected of us and we'd be in the clear. If it was anything like regular TV, the audience would vote on their favorite couple at the end of the interviews and that group would start off with a bonus. Not that Argo and I needed a bonus, mind; it was simply that a bonus would ensure our victory.

"How long have you been together?" I told him, and his eyes widened. "A year and a half? Wow." Argo and I had agreed that during one of our late-night conversations that the clock had started back in November, when I confessed to her the first time. Jimmy looked out into the crowd and repeated, "A year and a half." He chuckled and leaned forward. "Now, I really want to know. How'd you two meet?"

Argo thought for a second. "Well, the first time I met Rythin, he was in a party with a friend of mine, Kirito." Excellent; name drop Kirito and we've got ourselves a boost in interest. Everybody knew about the Black Swordsman. "This was back on the first floor of the original Aincrad, and Kirito was hoping I knew about any new sidequests."

I nodded. "I remember that. And I also remember that the first time I bought information from you, you doubled your prices."

Argo grinned, not ashamed in the least. "A girl's gotta make a living somehow, right?" The audience chuckled. "If you want to know how we got together, well, that's a whole story in itself. Basically, Ry here was an idiot for about a year and a half."

"That's not fair, Argo," I complained. "I realized I was in love with you after the first year, I just didn't do anything about it."

"Like I said, idiot for about a year and a half."

I just rolled my eyes while the audience was torn between aww'ing in adoration and laughing. Jimmy chuckled politely and leaned back. "Now, here I'd normally ask you to tell us about yourselves, but you two are pretty famous already." He pulled a book out of nowhere, and I sighed as I recognized the title. "Rythin, you provided plenty of information for this book, didn't you?"

I groaned slightly. "And I think I made a mistake. You're the third person to bring it up today." I grinned to show that I didn't really mean it. "But Kirito's going to have it worse than I do. After all, he's the hero of the story."

"In this book, Rythin, you basically admit that you're unstable," Jimmy said. My eyes narrowed slightly. "Argo, how do you deal with this? How do you two function as a couple?" Very well, thank you. Not that it's any place of yours to ask, asshole.

Argo smiled brightly. "Basically, I'm his handler. I keep him in line." She shot me a glance that said 'play along'.

So I did. "Well, I wouldn't call you my handler, exactly," - I turned to Jimmy - "but Argo helps keep me stable. I owe everything to her for that."

Jimmy leaned forward confidentially. "Mind showing us what it's like when you're not in line?" The question was directed towards me, but he kept eye contact with Argo.

She shrugged; ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer. "Rythin, go ahead."

I sighed. "Argo, that's not fair, you know. It's not like an on-off switch, and there's no guarantee it'll work." I turned to Jimmy; without hesitating at all or changing my tone of voice, I hissed, "By the way, you're sitting close enough to me that I can kill you three different ways with my bare hands. That's not even counting the Moonblade, my magic, or the knives I keep on me. So keep that in mind the next time you start asking excessively personal questions." What do you know? It worked.

"That's enough, Ry," Argo murmured, and I subsided, letting the madness pass by taking a few breaths and calming myself.

The audience had gone dead quiet, and Jimmy chuckled uneasily. "...Um, okay then. Thank you very much, Argo and Rythin. I hope you two do well, and let me just say you make a lovely couple."

Argo smiled. "Thank you very much." We stood up, I shook hands with Jimmy - I only crushed a little bit - and we exited by another door on the side of the stage. The other contestants were standing there, watching and waiting. I noticed the guy who had threatened me earlier looking somewhat pale - I waved cheerfully to him and he gulped. Nothing like a good old-fashioned show of force to keep the people in line.

An NPC that could be the twin of the receptionist NPC clapped her hands to get our attention. "Hello everybody. The first challenge will begin very soon. I hope you are all ready." The assembled players gave some sort of cheer; Argo and I just exchanged grins and waited silently. "The first challenge is a challenge that revolves around detail. One member of your couple will be taken into a closed room. Inside, three details about their appearance will be changed; these might be large, or they might be small. I hope you know what your partner looks like!" I cracked my neck; I was good with detail. I nudged Argo, and she nodded; she'd be the one in the closed room. "Once you have made your choice, will the players separate?" I gave Argo a quick hug and she walked off with the other nine contestants. In the meantime, the remaining nine contestants and I lounged around in the waiting room.

I looked around briefly, and then whispered, "No helping, Din. We want to do this on our own." He seemed to be occupied doing his own research - he must be, or he would have come out and joined us - but I wanted to be safe.

"Yes, Dad," Din replied, briefly poking his head out of my jacket pocket. "I'll have a screen watching this, so I hope you win."

I chuckled. "Of course we will, kiddo. Your mom and I have this nailed." Din just shook his head with a smile and went back into the pocket, probably heading back to the world I had created for him and Yui - the same world my friends and I were almost constantly logged into via our phones, the world that Yui and Din used to communicate with us in the real world.

"Alright, everyone," the NPC said. I looked up in surprise; I hadn't realized she had come back. "Would you please follow me?" Wordlessly we followed her and were placed in small booths. From there, I couldn't see the crowd but I could hear it; the players were murmuring to themselves, probably trying to figure out who was the favorite to win. I slumped in a relaxed position, not really caring. The other players ranged from nervous to smug, and I felt my heart rate start to increase - a basic reaction to raised stress. I heard Jimmy in the background, talking about something or other, but I just assumed he was an announcer for the competition. A second voice answered something he said, and I nodded slightly. I was right.

The door in front of me swung open, and Argo was standing there, an NPC behind her. I vaguely heard the NPCs say 'begin', but I was focused on Argo. Three things were different? I let my eyes unfocus slightly and scanned Argo's form, tapping my foot unconsciously; there was something off about the face, the hands, and the way she was standing. What was it? I focused on everything my subconscious caught, taking in every detail and comparing it to the image of Argo I had in my head. Making a small sound of satisfaction, I leaned forward slightly, and the NPC walked over to my side. "Have you found the differences?" she asked politely. I gnawed on my thumbnail absently, and nodded. "Please show me where they are."

I grinned. "First difference, her gloves. The thumbs aren't fingerless." The NPC nodded, and I continued. "Second difference, she's standing off balance. Her weight is on the left foot, while she usually stands with her weight centered."

Argo's eyes widened, but she laughed. "Are you telling me I'm fat?"

"Hush, woman," I mock scolded her, "I'm working. And for the final difference..." I stood up and approached her. Brushing her hood back, I traced the whiskers on her cheek. "Your whiskers are drawn differently. I like the old pattern better, I think." Argo was blushing furiously, and I could hear Jimmy shouting something in the background. "That one highlights your eyes more." I returned to my seat and nodded to the NPC. "Done."

The other contestants finished finding the differences of their own significant others, and when we were all done everyone was taken to the back wings; likely so they could reset the stage for the next event. It was probably a commercial break for the people watching at home. When I saw Argo again, she was back to normal with her whiskers drawn the way they had been before. "You're just trying to embarrass me out there, aren't you?" she grumbled, her face red.

"Punishment for falsifying important documents," I joked. "What happened to that info broker integrity?"

"Pushed second by the fact that I wanted to come do this," Argo sniffed. Her face broke into a grin a second later. "Did you see the other people's faces?" I informed her that no, I didn't see them, as I was too busy staring at hers, and she rolled her eyes. "Flatterer. Anyway, they were all staring at us. I think we were the first to finish." She grinned at me. "You were entirely correct, by the way."

"Naturally."

Argo laughed at my deadpan delivery and opened her mouth to say something else when the NPC showed up again. That thing seemed to like interrupting people. "Our next competition is based on trivia - how well you know your significant other. The players that searched for the differences, please come with me." Shrugging, I followed the NPC. Some of the other players were shooting me ugly glares, but I didn't really care. They could hate me if they wanted; it wasn't as if they mattered at all. We entered a large room and took seats around a rectangular table; we were given a sheet of paper and a pencil. I had no idea what they could be for, although given that the challenge was trivia-based, we would likely be answering questions. The NPC stood at one end of the table and cleared her throat. "I will ask a series of three questions. All you need to do is write down your answers to the questions."

The NPC waved her hand, and a screen behind her lit up with words. "The first question is, given a choice between the beach and the amusement park, which would you prefer to visit for a day?" I studied the paper for a second, and then wrote 'Neither'. I'd much rather stay at home and read a good book or play video games. "The second question is, would you prefer to eat pork, chicken, or beef?" That was a tough question - steak was delicious, but pork could mean bacon... I eventually decided to go with beef. "The final question is slightly more open-ended, so you might want to consider your answers somewhat more carefully. What is your least favorite aspect about cooking?" I wrote 'Cleaning'. Cleaning the dishes and the pans when the meal was done was always a pain; spend thirty minutes making food, five minutes inhaling it, and then another thirty cleaning up after yourself. I sat back and stretched; what a pain.

Weral walked over and looked at my answers; he winced at the first one. "I know you know what you're doing, but don't you think you should pick one of the two given answers?"

I chuckled. "Argo knows me too well for me to pick anything else. I've got faith in her." Weral sighed and walked away. It was true, though; I put my absolute faith in Argo. In this case, it manifested itself as the belief that she could pick the answer I chose even though it wasn't in the question.

The NPC collected our answers and walked out the door. Nobody else came to get us, so I assumed we were just supposed to stay put until the second round was over. I heard faint cheering through the closed door, so I assumed that somebody had guessed the answer right. Hopefully it was Argo; we seemed to be doing fine in the competition, but I wanted to ensure that we would win.

Eventually, the NPC entered the door and told us all to follow her. We did as we were bid and were taken to a large dome, separated into two halves, top and bottom. I looked at the two halves; they seemed to be obstacle courses of some kind. Interesting; I had no idea what we were going to be doing with this. The other half of the contestants were waiting around already, and I made a beeline for Argo. She gave me a hug when I reached her; with her lips near my ear, she whispered, "I got all of them right. They really didn't want me to pick 'Neither' for the first one, though."

I pulled back slightly and grinned at her. "Great job, Argo," I said, and I meant it. "Do you know what's going on here?" She shook her head, and I sighed. "So much for an advantage."

"Attention, players!" Jimmy said, and despite myself I turned to look at him. "This is our final challenge. It is an obstacle course!" Heh, really? I was one of the faster players in the game, and all of my fighting style was based on maneuverability. Obstacle courses was nothing to me. "But there is a twist!" ...Of course. Because nothing can ever be easy for me, can it? "There's two halves on each course, the top and the bottom, and obstacles on one are solved by the other. So, you'll be going through as couples, trying to complete it as quickly as possible. You can talk to each other - the floors aren't soundproof - but the other teams will be able to hear you." Hm. So if people were ahead, you could listen to them to figure out how to handle the upcoming obstacles; this meant that the players that were in the lead had to figure out how to handle the obstacle without giving away the secret. Interesting. "Contestants, take your positions!"

Argo and I walked to the tenth course; after conferring with each other quietly, we split up to take our respective courses. I was on the bottom, and Argo would take the top. I thought about the other meaning of those words, especially in terms of couples, and snickered to myself. "Ready for this, Argo?" I called up.

"Born ready," she replied.

I tapped my chin. "You know, I've never understood that particular phrase." The starting bell sounded, and I walked forward. The first obstacle was some sort of fire field; as I watched, it changed from a solid wall of fire to one that fired at random intervals. Argo must have fixed something up on the top half. "When a person is a baby, they're more or less dependent on their parents for everything. So how could they be able to complete a challenge like this when they were born? Oh, and don't change anything, please." I triggered Future Step; that gave me a few seconds warning before the fire burst forth, and I calmly walked through the sea of flames without getting singed. Soon, I couldn't walk any further, my progress being blocked by a metal grate, and found a metal panel rising from the floor.

"It's a figure of speech, Ry," Argo replied. I studied the panel in front of me; it seemed to be some sort of keyboard with a display. The display seemed to be some sort of five by five sliding block puzzle, numbered one through twenty-five with the bottom right corner and absolute center missing - I tapped a few keys and the fourth middle block slid to the top. Above me, something heavy rumbled and moved, and I realized I had to walk Argo through the puzzle without injuring her. "I think it's saying that the task is so easy that even a baby could do it." I slid the 19th and 20th blocks to the left, opening a path for Argo. After a few seconds, I started sliding the blocks around in a circle, giving Argo a path to walk through by moving her to the center. "But thinking about it, that's kind of demeaning, isn't it? That something you did or worked on is pathetic." Eventually, I opened the path up to the top. After a few seconds, the grate blocking my path sank down into the floor.

The next challenge was interesting; there didn't seem to be a floor, only several platforms floating in the air. I stepped onto the first, and after a few seconds another one shifted to make a path. The one I was standing on started to move, so I stepped onto the next path. "I don't know, Argo," I said. "I think it's more bragging about yourself than anything." As I walked forward, the blocks shifted to provide a platform for my waiting feet and shifted away as I left the previous block. Argo was probably controlling them somehow; if we didn't time this right, I could fall. But I trusted her; it also helped that Future Step showed me where it would move next, so I could see where I needed to go before I could go there. What was that saying again? Ah, yes; 'trust but verify'. "Saying that even as a baby, you could finish the challenge. Like you were some sort of super baby, or that you're just that good." I eventually stepped off and punched a large red button. After I punched it, it sank into the floor - I had most likely opened up something for Argo.

"Now I'm picturing this baby flying around with a cape," Argo said. "Thanks."

"What are you talking about?" I asked her. "That's an awesome mental image." I could see the exit to the course just up ahead. There was just one puzzle left, and I had to help Argo get through her obstacles. What was it this time? I seemed to have a series of levers, and I had no idea what any of them did. I pushed one experimentally, and I watched as a set of lights - one underneath each lever - flashed red and green. It looked like an L shape shifted itself; it opened up one path, but blocked the movement of other L shapes. I nodded; so I had to move the levers in such a way that Argo could get from the start to the finish. I studied the puzzle for a few seconds, tracing the different paths in my mind's eye, and then started pulling levers one at a time. "Doing alright up there?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Argo replied."So about that baby..."

I pulled another lever. "What, you want another one? We can always adopt."

"Shut it, Ry," Argo said. "I'm not even thinking about that yet." I pulled a lever and opened up a path for her; pulling another one unlocked the next L shape. I had been forced to make her wander through most of the maze as I locked and unlocked the levers. "Besides, who says we can't make it work somehow?"

I pulled a face and a lever at the same time. "Urgh. I'm definitely not ready to think about that. Besides, Din might not want a brother or sister."One more lever and... "Gotcha. There you go, Argo." After a few seconds, a staircase rose up, giving me access to the way out of the obstacle course. A similar staircase descended from the top portion of the obstacle course, allowing Argo to get free as well. We met on the landing and made our way out into the victor's zone. "Hey, Argo?"

"Yeah?"

"Did we just solve that while talking about completely unrelated things?" I asked her.

She thought for a second. "Yep."

"Huh. Good to know."

We were an excellent team – I knew that, and Argo knew that. Apparently, the audience thought so as well, because we were the fan favorite among the ten couples. Go us. Jimmy Coiler smiled as we sat on the stage with him. "Well done, you two, and congratulations. You came in first among the couples, and so you win our grand prize." He gestured, and a screen appeared in front of me.

My eyes widened. "Wha- Argo, this is..."

She grinned. "That's right, Ry. A voucher for any home on the 62nd Floor of New Aincrad." My old home - where I had confessed my love for her, and where we had spent so much time together. We might, however, have to search for a bigger house; because Argo and I were officially together, we'd need beds in the same room. Din wouldn't need a room, so we could repurpose that for information storage... I realized I had drifted off into my thoughts and shook myself.

I gaped at the item now in my inventory, and then back at Argo. "You... this? Argo..."

"I wanted it to be a surprise," she said. "Besides, we still had to win it, and I didn't want you to get your hopes up." I hugged her as tightly as I could, trying to show her how grateful I was.

After a few more seconds, I collected my thoughts and sat back, composing myself. "This is fantastic, Jimmy. Thank you very much."

He smiled indulgently. "And thank you for competing in our Couple's Challenge! I hope you and Argo enjoy yourselves in the new home." He paused for a second. "But not too much," he added. I chuckled along with the crowd; the lights faded, and Argo and I walked off of the stage, hand in hand.

What a wonderful gift.

* * *

**Curious who Din is? Don't worry, that'll be explained. Eventually.**

**Fun fact: originally, this was planned to happen earlier in the timeline (after Nightblade II but before GGO); Rythin still wouldn't have accepted his feelings for Argo – his self-esteem is shot to hell and back, despite and actually causing the way he acts (if he didn't pretend he was hot shit and there wasn't anybody to prove that he was worth something, he'd probably be suicidal) – and they would have still won the competition anyway while pretending to be a couple because ~twu wuv conquers all~ or some shit like that. But then they got together in Wings of Vengeance and I had to rearrange a few things. Now they win because they know each other that well.**

**Many thanks to everyone who favorited, followed, and reviewed.**


	4. Spooky Castle

**Sidequest: Spooky Castle**

* * *

**October 31st, 2023**

I was enjoying myself on the fine autumn day by taking a rare, if well-deserved, break from fighting. That isn't to say that I had no intention of grinding that day, only that I was taking the morning off; I had even taken a warp gate back to the 37th Floor, just to relax in that peaceful glade once again. I was currently occupying myself by playing the lute, strumming the strings and letting the system take control. My Musical Instrument Proficiency wasn't as high as it could be, limiting my access to the more advanced songs; after I got better at playing the various instruments, I would be able to play this one particular song I had my eye on. The title sounded interesting, and while I hadn't heard of it before I was looking forward to playing the song.

My mind drifted as my fingers played by themselves. This glade was just as relaxing as I had remembered it; the isolation kept me from feeling threatened by others, and the nature around me was relatively silent. The only sounds I heard were my music and distant, far-off birdsong. How relaxing... I wouldn't mind living in the forest, without any people nearby. So long as I had electricity and Internet access, I would be fine without people.

But there were some people I'd miss; my mind connected the thoughts without me trying and jumped to the thought of Kirito. It had been four months by now since I last spoke with him, almost five. He had taken the death of his guild far harder than I had expected; though it did make sense, in a way. They were the first real group to accept him as part of a family - he knew that Asuna and I were his friends, but it wasn't the same thing. Even when he fought in the boss raids, with other players near his level, it was tense; the other clearers knew intellectually that they needed his help, but they resented emotionally having to rely on a Beater. It made some sense to me; after all, I'd resent having to rely on anybody, not just a Beater. But that's where the sense ended to me - they didn't mind relying on each other, just him. It was all very bizarre. I may be able to comprehend other people's reactions, but I doubt I'll ever understand them without someone's help.

Thinking of Kirito led my train of thought to Asuna, and from Asuna to this particular area. The last time I had played an instrument in this glade, it was the lute once more and Asuna had caught me singing. I was safe this time, though; I had taken the time to check her location before coming to this floor. She was occupied on the front lines, either fighting with her guild or by herself, and I had a feeling she'd be occupied for a long time. I would play a song and sing to myself, but I had just woken up so my voice was still rusty. I hate talking in the mornings; it often takes me several hours to go beyond basic neolithic grunts as the extent of my communication.

By this hour, however, I was awake enough to want to sing. That way, I could blame any false notes or poor jumps to my voice not being awake yet; it was always good to have an excuse ready. I finished the song I was playing and let the final chord ring out, trying to remember how the song I wanted to play went. After a few seconds, I started plucking at the strings; eventually, the familiar fingerings came back to me. It had been a long time since I had played, but the muscle memory just didn't fade - after playing the instrument for several years, the fingerings had burnt themselves into my subconscious memory. It also helped that I had been playing the two instruments I owned for several months, bringing the muscle memory back to the forefront of my mind.

Finally, I got the basic chords down well enough that I could play them at the speed needed for the system to recognize the song. My fingers started glowing and my hands started moving on their own; I listened to the musical intro and, closing my eyes, started to sing along. _It's a serious business - strike and parry. It's a serious business - no time to tarry. To strike your enemy full and fast..._

I played and sang the song, paying only cursory attention to my surroundings. Suddenly, I heard a branch snap on my left; my eyes snapped open, and although I didn't stop playing or singing my voice dropped in volume until I was only just barely singing the lyrics - more mumbling them to myself under my breath than actual singing. _...Thrust your rib-sticker deep, leave a gash upon the cheek; stealth and cunning are your friends, unto the bloody end._ Who had stumbled onto my glade? I was fairly certain that the only people that could hear me play were the ones close enough to be seen from the glade - thanks to the copious forest surrounding the area, the trees acted almost like soundproofing - and nobody that I was aware of had any reason to be here. It was far off the beaten path, and only just barely in a Safe Zone. So who could possibly be trying to enter this space of mine?

As I continued to play, my mind subconsciously worked on the problem. The only people that would know about this glade were people who had found it previously, or were finding it by complete accident just now. The front lines were several floors above this one, so it was far less likely that a player would be exploring this floor for the first time; the clearers had already left, and most regular players found it safer on the single digit floors. That implied that the sound had come from a player or players that was deliberately searching out this glade. I had only heard one cracking branch, so that by itself implied a single player instead of many; I would likely have heard signs that multiple people were approaching by now. So I had eliminated the options until the only one remaining was a single player that knew about this place already. That, of course, implied...

The calculations and logical deductions, of course, were all in my subconscious; the only conscious reaction was a sinking feeling in my stomach. _...with his throat streaming red, join the army of the dead._ I kept an eye on the left side of the glade, pretty sure I knew who was going to appear. There was really only one person that I knew that could find this place easily - and not give away many signs of their presence.

Sure enough, Asuna entered between two trees. "Don't stop playing on my account, Rythin," she said. "I like listening to you." I just closed my eyes and sighed.

_...The warrior's trick is to survive. The warrior's trick is to stay alive._ As the song ended, I let the final chord ring out before turning to look at Asuna. I started to say something, but her small grin stopped me before I could start ranting. "How?" was the only thing I said. "How do you keep doing that?"

Asuna giggled. "Well, I ran into something while out fighting on the front lines, and wanted you to come check it out. So, I just opened up my Friends List and it told me you were on the 37th Floor. I was pretty sure I'd find you here."

I leaned back and stared up into the air. "Why me?" I asked the uncaring azure sky. "Every time I try to get some privacy. Every time!" I sat up and glared at Asuna. "I even checked your location before coming down here. I... you... argh." Asuna just laughed at my impotent rage. Eventually, I put away the lute and stood up, brushing myself off. "Right, Asuna. What exactly did you want to show me?"

Thirty minutes later, I was standing in front of a old, ramshackle mansion on the 45th Floor. It was fairly neglected, the wood cracking and warped with age; I felt as though I was risking a splinter just looking at it. "You interrupted my morning off to show me a house?" I asked Asuna, my voice flat with dull surprise. I sighed. "...I'm leaving."

I turned to leave when Asuna grabbed my arm. "Wait, hold on!" I reluctantly turned to see her rolling her eyes at me. "Yes, I wanted to show you this house, but that's not everything." I heaved another put-upon sigh and turned back to stare at the mansion. "I was exploring this area yesterday, and I swear this mansion wasn't here then!"

I studied the house, my interest piqued. "So we have a mysterious mansion that wasn't here the day before, hm..." I gnawed at my left thumbnail as I thought; sometimes, I thought better while I was chewing on something. It's why I gnawed on my pencils every now and then during tests. Any boost in concentration was almost entirely due to the placebo effect, I knew, but somehow I had managed to fall victim to it. "Asuna, what's today's date?" I hadn't been keeping track.

Asuna swiped her menu open and looked at the calendar. "Translating from the game's method of keeping time," - that's right; it had become second nature to me to translate them in my head to the point where I didn't even think about it, but the game named the months differently - "it's October 31st." She shuddered slightly; strange, why would she do that? It wasn't particularly cold. "Halloween."

A slow smile crept onto my face. "So we have a mysterious mansion appearing on Halloween? One that looks old, beat-up, and probably filled with secret passages and rotten floorboards? One that is probably - no, most likely - haunted?" I chuckled. "This can only end in good things." I glanced at Asuna. "You're forgiven for interrupting me this morning."

"Oh, thank you, kind sir," Asuna retorted. "I couldn't live with myself if I didn't have your forgiveness." With a laugh, we walked up to the entrance of the mansion.

Naturally, the steps up to the front door creaked as we put our weight on them. I found myself grinning like a fool; Asuna glanced at me, and I shrugged. "I may be scared of the dark, but I've always like horror movies." Ghosts and murderers didn't really bother me that much, and the bloody horror films had no impact on me. I had always wondered how I'd do in a real-life horror movie; this was my chance to find out. I looked at Asuna as we stood in front of the solid wooden door, a rusty iron knocker barely hanging on by a single nail. "Are you ready?" Asuna nodded, and I lifted the knocker. After banging it on the door three times, following the example of all the old movies I had seen, I attempted to twist the doorknob; it turned in my hand, and I gently pushed the door open. It creaked as the hinges protested movement, and I felt my grin get wider. "Cool."

Asuna rolled her eyes. "How are you this excited? You never get excited."

"I don't know," I told her. "I guess I just like horror movies." It could possibly because the horror movies were fun to watch and mock; I wasn't scared so long as I kept a healthy dose of skepticism and yelled at the main characters for being incredibly stupid. Alternatively, it could be my taste for any sort of superstition; things like astrology and numerology were interesting to read about, even though I didn't believe in them. The idea that your life could be determined by the accidental timing of your birth or the name your parents gave you was strangely seductive - possibly due to how it gave my life direction.

We entered the mansion to find ourselves in a large, empty foyer; there was a door directly in front of us, and two staircases leading to another floor. Asuna looked at me. "What do you think we should do first?"

I looked around; a chandelier, covered in cobwebs, was hanging directly over our heads forebodingly. "First, we should get out from under this thing because it's going to fall at _some _point," I said while pointing up. Asuna glanced up and followed me as I tugged her forward; she seemed strangely reticent, for some reason. Whatever her reasons were, though, I had no idea what they could be. "Let's try the first floor first." However, when I took the door's handle in my hand, it was ice-cold; more importantly, it wouldn't turn, no matter how much force I used. "...or, not. Looks like upstairs it is." We took the steps, each one creaking under our weight; standing on the landing, I looked around. There was a door directly in front of us, and one on our left; given our track record with doors in the front, I walked over to the door on the left.

"You do realize we're acting exactly like those typical horror movie protagonists?" Asuna asked. Probably referring to the fact that we were exploring a haunted mansion with little to no care for our own safety.

I chuckled and glanced over my shoulder. "I know. Isn't it great?" She rolled her eyes and muttered something under her breath. "Oh, calm down. It's just atmosphere." I tried the door on the left, and it creaked open. "See? Nothing to be scared of." We walked through to find ourselves in a single room with no other exits. There was something covered in cloth on our right against the wall - by the glimmer of light, I assumed it was a mirror - and a large rack of decaying clothes on our left. "Seems we're in someone's closet." Strange place to have a closet; most people had their wardrobes attached to their rooms, so that they could get dressed without having to actually leave. Perhaps this was a storage closet of some sort, or perhaps it was just designed that way because the system didn't understand that facet of human nature. I nudged Asuna. "Anything you want to try on? I think the pink would look good on you." The article of clothing in question was little more than rags at that point, although I'm sure it had been a very nice dress before it had decayed; time had taken its toll.

She glared at me. "Very funny." I did catch her looking at the rotting pink dress for a second before shaking her head; maybe she was looking for something new to wear and was taking ideas wherever she could find them. Without directly asking her, I'd have no way of knowing - and asking just took all the fun out of things. The last time I had been in her inn room, she had mentioned looking for new casual wear - something about how the Knights of the Blood uniform wasn't very comfortable for lounging - and hinted that I should do the same. There wasn't anything wrong with my black shirt, though; it was almost as if Asuna wanted company when she went clothes-shopping. A puzzle to play with at a later time; there was a strange mansion to explore.

There was a wardrobe on the far wall; it seemed to be in strangely good condition. I studied it; the wood paneling seemed almost new, and there was a distinct lack of rot. "That's different." Suddenly, it shook, a loud thump coming from inside. "That's very different." I turned to Asuna. "What do you think? Should we investigate?"

"You're going to open it no matter what I say, right?"

"Bingo." I walked over and stood in front of the wardrobe; after that first thump nothing had moved inside it. "Besides, it's probably just a rat or something." I was desperately trying to check off all of the 'horror movie protagonist' boxes - the latest was 'assuming a rational explanation for a strange sound in a haunted house'. I placed my hand on the handle to the wardrobe door and, glancing at Asuna and receiving her nod, flung the door open.

Something red and white - I wasn't able to get a good glimpse - screamed and flung itself at us. I jumped in shock; Asuna shrieked in fear. Whatever had lunged at us, though, disappeared just before touching me. After blinking in surprise for a second or two, I started to laugh. Jump scares weren't actually scary, they just preyed on any nerves that were frayed. In my case, though, I didn't care; some jump scares were actually somewhat funny. The only effect this one had on me was causing my heart rate to increase slightly, a natural reaction to the sudden adrenaline rush of a fast-moving object coming towards me. "Hm," I murmured. "Not a rat."

"That's not funny!" Asuna said, her voice shaking slightly. Her hands were clutching at my shoulders.

Gently removing her hands, I turned and looked at her. "Were you hiding behind me?" I was surprised; Asuna had never once hidden behind me. She had even protected me more than once, risking her neck to save mine - the memory of watching the Crawlerpede rear back, preparing to kill us, rose to my mind without my conscious thought.

"N-no."

That stutter betrayed her. "Are you afraid of ghosts?" Asuna flushed bright red at my question, and I started chuckling in disbelief. "I don't believe it. You're scared of ghosts." Come to think of it, she hadn't participated in any of the Labyrinth raids when the majority of the monsters were the astral-type; that particular piece of the puzzle suddenly made perfect sense when combined with the knowledge that she was afraid of ghosts.

Asuna glared at me, her face still red. "Shut up, Rythin." Fascinating, how my mind put those things together accurately and came up with the answer; and yet to me, it was just a sudden realization of the truth. The mind was a machine, after all, and mine had remarkable processing power - it gave me the output as fast as I could give input, but I still didn't know the source code. Perhaps that was something I could work on later, if I ever escaped this game; the AI in games was typically rudimentary, but if I could somehow...

Work on the issue of creating a mind later. Focus on teasing Asuna now; it wasn't every day that an opportunity jumped out and landed in my lap like this. "Oh, this is just too perfect."

"I said, shut up, Rythin!"

I calmed down, controlling my mirth with practiced ease. "All right, Asuna," I said soothingly. "There's no reason to get mad. Everyone's scared of something, after all. Except me. Because I'm fearless. Except for the fact that I'm scared of pretty much everything." Asuna swallowed, still shaking slightly, and I laid a hand on her shoulder. "Hey." She looked up. "Do you want to leave? It's not a big deal if you do. I was going to take the morning off anyway." My voice was almost gentle; I considered Asuna a friend, and so even though I would mock and tease her I was careful never to push it too far.

"No," Asuna replied after a second. "I'm fine now. You being here helps." I just shrugged; there wasn't anything I could do about a ghost that wasn't an enemy. And the one that had surprised us wasn't an enemy - if it had been hostile, we would have seen its cursor, and it wouldn't have disappeared after surprising us. It seemed that this bizarre mansion was designed almost solely to scare players. "Let's go."

I led the way back out into the foyer. I tried the other door on the second floor, but it refused to turn either. "No good. Let's go back to the first floor and try that door again. It's our last shot."

Asuna shrugged and started going down the creaking steps; I followed her at a distance, still trying to figure out how this mansion was working. It seemed to be designed solely to scare us, but there had to be some reason for it to be here. It was possible that we just didn't have a quest for it, but since it appeared on Halloween I had a feeling that any quest related to it would have been very close to the mansion. Asuna didn't mention anything like that, so there probably wasn't a quest. So was the mansion the end goal in and of itself? That would be rather strange, unless there was some sort of treasure at the end of the dungeon.

Suddenly, I realized that even though both of us were off of the steps, the creaking had continued. I looked around, searching for the cause; none of the floorboards had creaked when we first walked on them, and if it had been the door it would be more of a rattling sound than a creaking one. Finally, I looked up and realized that the chandelier was swaying more than it should be; I looked under it, and Asuna was directly under the fixture. My mind made the quick calculation; my eyes widened, and I raced forward. "Asuna, look out!" I shouted. Ramming into her, I grabbed her and threw myself forward and to the ground, taking her with me. As we hit the rotting carpet, the creaking grew louder and louder until there was a loud snap; almost immediately, the chandelier crashed to the ground with the loud sound of splintering wood and breaking glass. In the silence following, I looked at Asuna. Her eyes were wide, and her face was pale. I pulled her to her feet, and placed my hands on her shoulders. "Are you hurt?"

She shook her head. "Not a scratch, thanks to you." I seemed to be making a habit of trying to save her; Illfang, The Venomous One... I suppose it was to make up for what she did for me in the 26th Floor's Labyrinth. Disregarding the fact that Illfang happened before she saved me; facts could be rather inconvenient at times.

I smiled, limp in relief. "I couldn't let you get hurt, could I?" I turned to look at the fallen chandelier; oh-so-conveniently, it blocked the front entrance. "Looks like our only way forward is the first door we tried."

Still a little shaky from our close call, I picked my way over the wreckage toward the other door, Asuna close behind me. I tried the door before, and this time it swung open silently; the handle was strangely warm and seemingly pulsed in my hand, almost like a heartbeat. "Oh, good," Asuna said. "Doors that randomly unlock."

I chuckled. "There, you're getting into the spirit of things. If you'll pardon the pun." The door led into a hallway; as we walked through, I felt something at my back, following me. I glanced behind me, but didn't see anybody; Asuna was beside me, so it couldn't be her. I glanced at the walls to see several paintings of older gentlemen, the kind that could be found in mansions; they looked similar enough to be portraits of the same person. They started out when the subject was a boy, and progressed through the ages. As I walked forward, I noticed that their eyes were following us. I glanced at Asuna to see that she was studiously looking forward, doing her best to ignore the watching paintings. I smiled to myself and didn't say anything.

The last painting before the end of the hallway was a skeleton with surprisingly lifelike eyes. Asuna glanced at it and sighed. "Can we just get out of here?"

I briefly considered taking the skeleton portrait, but decided against it. In here, it wasn't so bad; but if I had to fall asleep in the dark with that thing watching me, I would likely think otherwise. "Why is the last one always a skeleton, though? I think it would be better if it was just an unchanging old man."

"How would that be better in any way?" Asuna demanded.

I shrugged. "It implies that he stopped aging, which could mean that he's still alive." And if he was still alive, it was possible he could be still watching us from the shadows. I'd always preferred the more unknown kind of horror to the jump scares and ghosts. I still hadn't figured out why, but the idea of something behind me, unseen, chilled me to the bone. "When it's just a skeleton, though..." I reached up and flicked the skull where the forehead would be. Somehow, the skull managed to frown at me. "That just looks like some weird painter dug up a body. And that's hardly frightening."

Asuna sighed and placed her hand on my shoulder. "Please stop bothering the ghosts. Can we just go, already?"

I laughed. "Alright, Asuna. Let's go." Her hand moved from my shoulder to my right hand; I smiled slightly and gave her hand a squeeze, silently telling her that I was right beside her. Pushing the door in front of us open, my eyes widened. Somehow, this mansion had a large bottomless pit on the other side of the door, the only way of crossing it an extremely rickety rope bridge connected to two stone ledges on each side. Some of the wooden planks seemed like they were almost rotten through, and the bridge swayed unnervingly in the absence of any wind. "What, is this because of the flick? I'm sorry!" I called out.

Asuna opened her mouth to say something, but whatever she was going to say was lost in a squeak of fear as ghosts swarmed the bridge - there had to be at least one hundred of the spectres, though none of them were hostile. They swooped over, around, and through the bridge, cackling and screeching with various sounds. None of the sounds seemed human. I could feel Asuna's hand shaking in mine, and I turned to see that her face was pale and bloodless. I didn't know how I could help her; she seemed like she was lost in her own little world of fear. "R-Rythin?" she stammered.

With no other good options left to me, I wrapped her in a hug. "Right here, Asuna," I whispered. I needed to make sure she wasn't going into shock, and that seemed like a slightly better idea than slapping her. "I'm right beside you."

"I... I don't think I can cross the bridge," Asuna said after a few seconds. I drew back to see that she was relatively back to normal.

"I understand." Fear was a paralyzing force, after all; some fear could make you run faster, fight harder, just to stay alive. But this fear, these ghosts? They were just overloading her with terror. It was a useless fear, one that prevented her from thinking, from acting. "Do you trust me?"

Asuna blinked and looked at me. "What?"

"Do you trust me?" I repeated, staring into her eyes. What I had in mind would only work if she said yes.

Asuna took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "Of course, Rythin. We're friends, after all."

I nodded; she was right, after all. "Then close your eyes."

"What?"

I smiled at her. "Close your eyes. I'll lead you across the bridge." Ghosts didn't bother me, so I could walk through them without caring at all; no, it was the unknowns I couldn't see coming that were terrifying to me.

Asuna shuddered, and then closed her eyes. "Okay, Rythin." I gave her hand a reassuring squeeze, and then stepped onto the swaying bridge. Slowly, I started walking across, testing each step before trusting it with my weight. Wood tended to crack along the grain, and fortunately the grain of the wooden slats was all horizontal; if it had been vertical, we would have been in trouble. Regardless, it was still dangerous, as the wood looked to be very old and very fragile. I had to put my weight on the edges as much as possible; I glanced behind me to see Asuna holding to the rope with her free hand. She was clinging to the right side of the bridge, and I was doing my best to stay on the left side. This did occasionally cause the rope bridge to sway, but it was the safest method of crossing - this way, we did our level best to balance our weight and avoid walking on the same weakened segments. I didn't want to find out what would happen to a player that fell into the bottomless pit, and the creaking of the wood with each step we took didn't fill me with confidence. Nothing else in this mansion seemed to be actively trying to kill us, though, and so it probably wouldn't be the end of the world to fall. Still, better not to take chances and push our luck.

A ghost - it looked almost human - swooped in close and started shrieking, doing its best to scare me and Asuna. Asuna whimpered and squeezed my hand, as if reassuring herself that I was still there; I squeezed back and glared at the ghost. "Piss off," I hissed, swiping at it with my free hand. My leather glove passed through its body harmlessly, causing it to cackle and fly away. At least it was gone. And I had my answer; ghosts that we could fight would always be solid when we attacked them, as I knew very well from that experience on the 13th Floor - to make the fight fair, I assumed, although the damage we could deal was very limited. These ghosts were meant solely to frighten players. I scanned around, watching the writhing spirits carefully, but none of them seemed to have a cursor. That was fortunate; I was glad we didn't have to fight anything on this bridge. Any excessive amount of movement could easily break planks or the rope itself - true to the horror theme, nothing looked very stable, and the rope seemed like it was fraying at several points.

I looked behind me, checking on Asuna, to see that her face was pale. She must be very frightened; not having to look at the ghosts probably helped, although their cackling and shrieking was still having an effect. I gave her hand a squeeze. "So, Asuna, how close are you to leveling up?"

It took her a second to respond. "I just hit level 55 a few days ago, so it'll be a while before I level up again."

Well, at least she could talk. "I'm level 57 right now, and I'm about halfway to 58. It's kind of strange, actually. I just picked up Musical Instrument Proficiency last level, and it's already halfway to mastered." I laughed. "Must be because I play the instruments I own so often, right? And you somehow keep walking in when I'm playing." We were about halfway across the bridge, and getting closer to the other side. I was talking to her to keep her mind off of the ghosts and on me; that way, she could at least function without being paralyzed by fear. "I try my best to get privacy, but does it work? No, of course not!" I found it fun to just rant sometimes; Asuna knew I didn't mean half of what I said. "It's like you're just following me around, waiting for me to start playing." It also let Asuna listen to me instead of the ghosts.

"I'm thinking of picking up the Searching skill when I hit 56," Asuna said. She probably understood what I was doing. "And it's not my fault I keep walking in while you're singing."

"It is, actually."

"Shut up, Rythin," Asuna replied. "Besides, your voice isn't that bad. Like I told you before, I kinda like it."

I grinned. "My ego thanks you, Asuna, but there's no need to suffer through my singing. Just stay far away from me when I'm playing my instruments and you'll be fine." Three quarters across; it didn't look like we were going to have a problem.

Just before I was about to step across to the other side, a plank broke under my feet and fell into the pit, disappearing into blue polygons as it fell. My lips tightened and I halted, trying to figure out what to do next. I glanced behind me, but we were too close to the exit to go back now. Asuna frowned. "Rythin, what's going on? I heard a snap, did a plank break?"

"Yeah," I replied absently. "But we're close to the other side." The rope bridge was too unstable for me to attempt to just walk over the missing bit, and that only left one option. "Asuna, we're going to have to jump. I'm going to let go of you now, but don't be scared. I'll be fine." I let go of her hand and she shifted her weight so that she could hold on to both sides of the bridge. That stabilized it slightly, and I took a deep breath. This isn't dangerous at all; I fight by jumping around and rolling. There was no real difference between jumping from the bridge to the other side and jumping from one tree branch to another. I took a few more deep breaths before tensing. "I'm jumping now!" I pushed off with both feet, putting my weight on the edges of the plank in an attempt to avoid breaking that plank as well. I got plenty of height and distance, and landed on the other side with plenty of room to spare. Rolling with the momentum and springing to my feet, I dusted myself off and turned back to Asuna. "I'm good. It's not that far, alright?"

Asuna smiled when she heard my voice again. "Alright, I'm going to jump now."

"Take a step forward first," I told her. "But be careful, because that's the plank I used to jump." Asuna tested the plank with her weight; unfortunately, it shattered, thanks to a combination of age and wear. "Okay..." I thought it through, running the probabilities in my head; it was unlikely that she'd be able to jump as far as I had, because unless something had changed recently she didn't have the Acrobatics skill. So it was a good chance that she'd miss the ledge. "Jump as far as you can. I'll catch you."

"Okay," Asuna called out. She gathered herself and jumped as hard as she could. I could tell instantly that she wouldn't make it; the distance was just too great. I threw myself forward, flat on my stomach to get as much distance as possible; I managed to grab her hand and hold on tight. Bracing myself, I pulled as hard as I could, and eventually managed to pull her up to the ledge.

Lying on my back, I laughed breathlessly. "Told you I'd catch you."

Asuna was lying next to me. "I believed you. That's why I jumped." It was nice having someone trust me, for once.

"Enhanced Weight Limit really came through on that one," I said. Asuna smacked my shoulder, I pushed myself into a sitting position, laughing. "Kidding, kidding. Well, we're this far. Might as well keep going, right?" I stood up and helped Asuna to her feet. "Let's find out what exactly is going on in this mansion."

The only exit from the bridge room led to a dirt tunnel, lit only by occasional torches. I hate the dark, but with Asuna by my side it was easier to deal with. The tunnel had a definite upwards slope to it, and I had absolutely no idea what was going on. Hopefully, things would make sense when we made it out of the tunnel. Eventually, we came to a large stone slab blocking our way; I felt around the sides of the tunnel and found a lever. Pulling it caused the stone slab to rumble and shift; Asuna and I backed away in case there was any chance it fell inward, but that turned out to not be the case. Instead, it slid forward, letting in some natural light. Somehow, though, that light was almost silver in color; I turned to Asuna. "What time is it, again?"

Asuna swiped open her menu and squinted at it. "The clock says it's just after one."

I frowned. "Then explain how we're looking at moonlight." We climbed out of the dirt tunnel; I looked behind me to see that the exit was under a tombstone. Heh, the exit from the haunted mansion was a tombstone. "Fitting enough, I guess."

Asuna looked around our surroundings. "We're in a pumpkin garden?"

I shrugged. "Just as confused as you are, Asuna, and possibly more so. Was there a garden around here last time you explored?"

She shook her head. "This must have appeared when the mansion did." I just shook my head, amazed that Aincrad could spawn something like this overnight. The capabilities of the world we found ourselves in continued to amaze me.

We were picking our way through the pumpkins, aimlessly wandering around and searching for something, when the entire area suddenly started rumbling. Asuna and I regrouped, back to back, waiting for something to happen; the moonlight slowly bled to red as the moon changed color. "Alright, we've got an eclipse," I muttered. "So what's going to show up?" As if in answer to my question, a large shape rose from the pumpkin patch; even in the red light, I could see its red eyes gleaming menacingly. It looked like a giant pumpkin; I focused on it, and its name popped up in my HUD. Asuna and I were facing Rex, the Pumpking. I stared at it, my jaw dropped. "I... that..." I threw my hands up and stormed off. "I hate everything right now. That pun is just so bad." Gah. Translated, it read 'King the Pumpkin King' - I couldn't conceive of a way for it to be any stupider. Puns didn't bother me by any means, but only when they were somewhat clever - and this monster's name was anything but.

Behind me, I heard Asuna sigh. "If you kill it, the stupid name will be gone. Besides, it might drop something good."

In an instant, I was at her side again, the Nightblade unsheathed and in my hand. "I hope you have a good pumpkin pie recipe, Asuna," I growled. "Because I'm about to carve up this overgrown gourd."

"Stop trying to be cool and just kill it," she replied, drawing her rapier. Hah... I shouldn't be surprised; my attempts at actual humor had never been very effective.

Several hours later - when the moon was actually out and not part of the special event - I enjoyed a delicious slice of pumpkin pie courtesy of Asuna and Rex the Pumpking. "Mmm," I mumbled, enjoying a bite of the dessert. "Tastes like sweet, sweet victory." Usually I didn't like pie, but this was the flesh of a fallen enemy; that just made it all the sweeter.

* * *

**I remembered reading somewhere that Asuna was scared of ghosts – from the official side story _The Day Before_, a short story included in the limited editions of the volume 1 DVD/BD; it's also where I got the fact that Argo's afraid of dogs – and this just kinda went from there.**

**Part of the fun of writing Asuna and Rythin's interactions while she has a crush on him is her being a little obvious about it, and him just completely missing everything. He's just so clueless - poor girl. I mean, he has his excuses - he's got like no self-esteem, he's asexual and didn't ever expect anyone to like him, stuff like that. For all that he's intelligent - and later on, figured out love via process of elimination - he just doesn't think that people could ever like him.**

**Song in this sidequest: _A Serious Business _by Meg Davis.**

**Many thanks to everyone who favorited, followed, or reviewed. Special thanks goes to **_Alicornication_** for being a dedicated reviewer.**


	5. Parenthood

**Sidequest: Parenthood**

* * *

**December 17th, 2025**

It was a bit of a pain to not have access to important information - or to be more accurate, information in general.

Reflecting on the incident with GGO and Death Gun, that's what tripped me up; I hadn't known the necessary and important information, and that put me at a disadvantage. If I had the information of all known Laughing Coffin survivors, I could have found the link far sooner; if I had been able to collect the raw data prior to forming a plan of attack, things might not have gone as poorly – the aftermath would certainly have been more interesting if we had been able to stop him. It was like I had failed to figure out the secret behind a puzzle boss, but beat it anyway through determination and sheer brute force. Not that it's not a viable strategy – one of the bosses in New Aincrad had been defeated with that strategy – but it didn't give me that same thrill and rush that pulling off a flawless victory did. I couldn't help but wonder how things would have played out if I had known about the murders as soon as they were found, or if I had known about the remaining members of -

"Earth to Rythin." A hand waved in front of my eyes, and I blinked, jerking back slightly. "You awake in there?"

I looked at the person talking to me. "I am now, Argo." I grinned at her as she sat back in her seat, returning to her lunch. "Sorry about that. I got caught up in my own thoughts again."

"I had a feeling," she said before taking a bite of her meal. "It happens more often than you think."

I chuckled. "More like it happens when I think."

"That joke was bad and you should feel bad."

I rolled my eyes. "Not everything has to be gold, Argo. Cut me some slack." I turned my attention back to my lunch, but it was already finished. "...Did I actually eat lunch?"

Argo nodded, her mouth full. "You scarfed it down without saying a word," she told me after she swallowed. "You didn't even blink. It was kinda scary."

"Huh." I stared at the empty plate. "You'd think I'd remember eating."

Someone sat their tray down next to me and I flinched; my head snapped to the side to see Kazuto taking a seat. "Just me, Nick," he said. "Chill."

"Habit," I said with a shrug. My paranoia kept my nerves active to the point that I twitched and flinched at the smallest noise or sight that wasn't entirely in my field of view. If I could see the cause of the noise or what I saw, it wasn't a big deal – but if the sound was behind me, or the sight was in the corner of my eyes, I flinched violently. It could be something left over from fighting in the virtual world with Future Step, where a sudden sound usually meant someone trying to kill me and a strange sight usually meant the exact same thing. Maybe there was a way to -

My thoughts were interrupted by someone snapping their fingers in front of me. I blinked and came back to reality to see Argo sighing and the rest of the table laughing. "Sorry, I did it again, didn't I?" Argo just sighed again. I scanned the table quickly; Asuna had showed up and sat down at some point while I was lost in thought, as had Silica and Lisbeth. After they stopped laughing, they went back to whatever conversation they were having – I couldn't listen in without appearing too obvious, so I had no way of knowing what they were talking about. "My apologies."

"Don't apologize, just don't do it again," Argo grumbled. I felt my lips twitch slightly; that was a line I had heard my instructor use multiple times when someone – occasionally even me – forgot something while sparring. It was usually related to keeping the guard up, though sometimes - "Rythin!"

"Sorry, sorry." I leaned forward. "So what are we talking about right now?" If I got into a conversation, that should keep me occupied. I do have that book with me - I started reaching for my pack, but Argo smacked my hand before I could grab the book. I made a face at her and withdrew; I guess I was paying attention to the conversation after all. I briefly considered putting my headphones in, but Argo's playful glare made it perfectly clear that she knew exactly what I was thinking.

Later, Argo turned to me while we were walking to the bus stop that would take us home. "So what was so thrilling about your thoughts at lunch today?"

I smirked slightly. "It's the only time I can get intelligent conversation, so forgive me." It comes from being surrounded by idiots most of the time, I suppose; Argo was one of the few people that could keep up with me, and although I never tired of talking to her I often found myself frustrated by everyone else. When it was my friends – to use the term loosely – they didn't mind if I let off a little steam with a few biting comments every now and then, but the only thing I could do in class was sit there and fume silently. Well, relatively silently.

"Bite me." My smirk grew just a little bit wider at her response before going back to my typical neutral expression. "But seriously, what were you thinking about?"

"Mostly thinking about the fact that I need a way to do copious amounts of research quickly," I said while staring off into the distance. "Kazuto and I were at a disadvantage against Death Gun because we didn't know what we were up against, and I can't help but think we would have fared better if we had more information to go off of."

Argo nodded. "I see the problem." I knew she'd understand; her entire livelihood in Alfheim Online – and her position in the school's grapevine – relied on the gathering and selling of information. "But what can you do about it?" I shrugged, unable to reply. There really wasn't anything except half-formed ideas in my head at the moment, and most of those would get thrown out if I ever took the time to thoroughly examine them. We reached the bus stop and sat down, a small distance from the other students waiting; Argo leaned her head against my shoulder with a sigh. "It's a shame, though. If you had the raw data, I'm pretty sure you could figure out almost anything."

I chuckled. "I don't know, and I probably won't until I have all that raw data." She lifted her head and stretched. "Can I have my wallet back now, please?"

Argo froze, and then sighed. "Fine, fine." She handed me my wallet; I didn't even bother looking inside, and just waited. "...And here's the money."

The left side of my lips curved up slightly. "Thank you very much." I knew she had returned everything, so I didn't bother checking the money. Even if I hadn't noticed, there would only have been loose change or small bills missing. The wallet theft was like a game between me and Argo; we'd try to steal each other's money – only small bills or loose change, naturally – and if the one stealing got caught, they had to hand back everything. I hadn't actually felt her take the wallet – she was much better at lifting than I was – but I had already predicted that particular plan of attack.

Someone sat down next to us; I didn't recognize the girl, but she was wearing the school's uniform. I glanced at Argo, and she nodded subtly to me – it was something important – before turning to the girl and beginning to talk quietly. Probably someone asking for information; I tuned them out by putting my headphones in and turning my music up.

* * *

**December 18th, 2025**

The next day, I was at lunch again, slowly and deliberately working my way through my food. "I see you're stopping to taste it today," Kazuto said as he sat down next to me.

I chuckled. "I thought I'd change things up for once." Argo, Asuna, and Lisbeth were still in line; I hadn't even seen Silica walk through the doors yet, so it was possible she was still in class. Either that or she was eating with her other friends; she was still incredibly popular. From what I had heard, her status as one of the few people to tame a monster – and a cute little dragon at that – and her personality meant she made friends easily. It wasn't a stretch to think that she would eat with friends her own age rather than us. After a few more bites, I turned to Kazuto. "So how's things?"

Kazuto shrugged as he studied a portion of his meal. Then, he ate it; I wasn't sure exactly why he stopped to calculate the volume of his bite – he had told me what he was doing once when I asked him, in complete befuddlement, why he didn't just eat his food like a normal person, not that I had any real room to talk – but it was a habit of his. "Going pretty well."

"And Suguha?" I had only seen her in her online guise as Leafa, and by unspoken agreement nobody really talked about their real life in the virtual world, even though we all knew each other in real life. Oh, we'd help with homework – to be more accurate, I'd help them with homework – because ALO allowed for multiple screens active simultaneously but by and large the personal details of our lives were reserved for face-to-face conversation. Argo and I were a bit of an anomaly in that sense, as we treated the virtual world exactly the same as the real one.

He grinned. "Sugu's doing great. She's got a good shot at making it to nationals again this year; if she does, you and Argo are invited to the tournament." His sister was still amazing; in ALO, she was one of the few people I fought against regularly. Other people were put off by my Future Step skill, finding it difficult to fight an opponent that moved and acted half a step before they did, but Suguha never hesitated. Possibly because her introduction to virtual combat was during the original incarnation of ALO, when Sword Skills didn't exist, and possibly because of her skill in kendo; either way, she was one of the few people that didn't mind fighting me and in fact wanted to fight often. Kazuto was another, and Asuna fought me often with her alternate account – a Sylph named Erika that specialized in the knife. When Asuna and I fought knife to knife, the matches were fierce and brutal; I found myself losing as often as I found myself winning.

"Sometimes I've wondered what it would be like to have a sibling," I mused out loud. "Someone that cares for you because they're family."

Kazuto shrugged. "I can't really tell you much, Nick. It's kind of a blind spot for me, since Suguha has been my... sister for as long as I remember." I didn't miss that hesitation, but I didn't mention it; Kazuto and Suguha's relationship was relatively strained when the two acknowledged the fact that they were cousins instead of siblings. So, they did their best to act as brother and sister.

"Daddy?"

The voice came from Kazuto's pocket, and he fished around in there for a second before pulling out his phone and setting it on the table. "Yeah, Yui?"

The screen lit up and revealed my goddaughter; the background had changed, so Yui must have gotten bored and played around with the settings in her own little world. "Can I have a brother or sister too?" Kazuto choked on air; my eyes widened for a brief second before I grinned. "What's wrong, Daddy?"

"Hey, kiddo..." Yui turned her attention to me. "What do you know about how people make kids?"

Yui tilted her head. "Nothing, Uncle." If she really wanted to know, she could probably have accessed the database; but that would take the fun out it, as she had said before. "How do people make babies?" Kazuto was continuing to choke on thin air, and I thumped him on the back in case he had swallowed something the wrong way.

"I'm not really the right person to ask, kiddo," I told her. "Part and parcel of being asexual. But you should definitely ask Asuna and Kazuto later today while we're all playing ALO, alright?" Kazuto shot me a death glare through his teary eyes, and my grin only widened. "I'm sure they'd be more than happy to tell you all about it."

"Okay, Uncle," Yui said. Such a cute kid; half the time, I forgot that she was supposed to be an AI. Probably because she rarely accessed the database, acting for all the world like a little kid. It had something to do with how she learned, if I recalled that conversation correctly.

Later that day, we were all lounging around in Asuna and Kirito's rented apartment in Yggdrasil City after failing a dungeon that we had been unprepared for – the monsters themselves didn't pose a threat, but we had let our guard down and been surprised by a trap while fighting a wave of enemies. Kirito and Asuna had plenty of room, so none of us felt bad about crashing at their place occasionally; Silica came by sometimes, but not all too often – something about Pina and Kirito's unexplained ability to make people feel sleepy – and Lisbeth was too busy with her blacksmithing to drop by that often.

Yui had remembered what I had told her that afternoon – to ask Asuna and Kazuto how children were made – and I had gotten plenty of amusement at Kirito and Asuna's stammered attempts to explain how kids were made to Yui; there were gems about 'the night in Selmburg' from Yui, and how they 'enjoyed themselves very much'. Argo and I were lying on the couch, my head in her lap; Kirito and Asuna's panicked reactions to Yui's reveal that she had been watching them on that night were pure gold, and I had never regretted not having a video recording function in this game more than I had at that moment.

Argo was gently scratching me behind the cat ears all Cait Sith had with one hand – and tapping away in a menu with the other – and it felt like I was drifting in and out of sleep, the rhythmic feeling incredibly soothing. Because of that, my mind was drifting, the trains of thought somewhat loose and disconnected. Yui was an interesting version of AI; she rarely touched the database of information all Cardinal programs could access. Because Cardinal had a system that could build quests by itself based on real world events, there was a huge database of information collected. But it had to collect it somehow, right? There couldn't be a team of programmers that just sat there and fed it information, day after day. So could it be possible to access that method of collecting the raw data? But that would require...

My eyes snapped open and I sat up suddenly, slightly startling Argo; she swore quietly and then started using the menu with both hands - probably fixing something I had accidentally made her screw up. But accessing that raw data would require having some sort of AI that could connect to the Cardinal's method of storing information. Come to think of it, I still had the copy of the Cardinal system from Aincrad right before it was deleted, courtesy of Kikuoka; maybe I could use that to figure out how the information retrieval worked. Or I could just skip the middleman and ask someone that's already connected to the system. "Yui?"

Yui flew over from her perch on Kirito's head and landed on my shoulder, perching daintily on the shoulder strap of my coat. "What is it, Uncle?"

"Do you happen to know how the Cardinal system gets information from the real world?" I asked her.

Yui frowned slightly. "I need to check. Can you wait a second?" She closed her eyes and concentrated. Kirito and Asuna looked over curiously from their own conversation, but didn't interrupt us. After a few seconds, Yui opened her eyes again. "I think the Cardinal system uses something similar to a search engine to pull and store information. Then, it's sorted and labeled with different tags that tell it what to look for if it needs to pull information later." Yui shook her head. "I don't have that much access to it, because I'm a Mental Health Care AI."

I frowned, absently gnawing at my thumbnail. "But some other AI could access it if they were directly linked to the system itself?"

Yui nodded slowly. "I believe so. However, this is only speculation." But speculation was so much fun, because speculation often led to ridiculously off-the-wall insane ideas. And those were so interesting to play around with.

After everyone had logged out, I was lying on my bed in the real world, staring at the ceiling. Argo and I had already gone through our usual nightly routines, talking about anything that we wanted to talk about, and I was fairly sure she had already gone to bed and fallen asleep. I, on the other hand, was still staring at the ceiling, considering the crazy idea I had come up with thanks to Yui. Eventually, I got out of bed – disturbing my cat, who had been contentedly sleeping by my side, his paws twitching occasionally – and sat down at the computer. "Yui?" I murmured. I didn't really want to wake up Parent – how I mentally referred to my mother – and it was possible Yui was in her sleep cycles.

I waited a few seconds, and then Yui appeared on my computer screen, yawning slightly. "What is it, Uncle?"

"Sorry, did I wake you?" I asked her. Her hair was somewhat disarrayed, so it was possible she had been sleeping in the bed I had noticed in the background – from what I had noticed, she tended to stay in her pixie form unless she was sleeping or cuddling with Asuna and Kirito. But it was interesting that there was a new bed. The world was becoming more and more hospitable from when I had created it – she was changing it a little bit at a time to make it more comfortable for her; when I had created the world originally, it was a featureless grassy plain. But now, I could see a variety of different structures, including a replica of their apartment in Aincrad. I did wish we could bring her into the real world, but the technology for that seemed remarkably far off.

Yui shook her head, absently brushing at the white nightgown she always wore in human mode. "I was about to go to bed."

I grinned apologetically. "If you want to go to sleep, go ahead. This can wait until morning." Yui shook her head and said it wasn't a problem. "If you're sure... alright." I leaned forward. "Could it be possible for me to write an AI that the Cardinal system would accept and link to its database?"

Yui's eyes widened for a second before she frowned in thought. "I don't think so," she said after a bit. "My code is specifically linked to the Cardinal system, which allows me to access the system as a moderator. To have the Cardinal system accept a new AI, it would either have to be very similar to my code, or it would have to create one on its own. Either way, to have access to the database, the AI would have to have moderator status, and that would require direct modification using an item or from the human side."

I sighed. "Damn. And I thought it would be easier." Wait. She had said something about the AI needing to be similar to her code for Cardinal to accept it. "Yui, this might be strange, and I want you to answer based on what _you_ want to do, alright? This is entirely your decision, and I want you to make it based on your own feelings, not what I want or what Kazuto or Asuna would want, okay?"

Yui nodded slowly. "Alright, Uncle Rythin."

"Besides, if this doesn't work out, I can find some other way," I said with an absent wave. "So this is the question: would you let me modify a copy of your source code to create the AI?" That said, I sat back and let her process what I had asked and come to her own decision. Come to think of it, I was hungry; I pushed my chair back and made my way downstairs. I had anticipated that this might happen, and so on one of my latest shopping trips I had made sure to pick up several boxes of relatively healthy snacks – granola bars being one of them, and what I was eating as snack. Theoretically, fruit would have been healthier, but it was also far more expensive.

When I returned to my room, Yui was waiting for me. "Welcome back, Uncle," she said. "I've made my decision."

I swallowed the last of my snack and sat down. "Whatever you decided, it won't change how I feel about you, kiddo. You know that." She was too important to Kazuto – and to me – for me to ever get angry with her.

Yui smiled. "I've decided that it's okay. You can use a copy of my source code."

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely," Yui said with a nod. I set to work pulling the code from the server; a lot of her code was usually stored with the Cardinal servers, but when she was in the little world I had created, her code was entirely on my servers. Well, technically they were paid for by Kikuoka – part of my dealing with him – but the point still stood. That meant that I had complete access to everything that made Yui, well, Yui. And I'd never abuse that access. "Uncle?"

"Hm?" I murmured. I had the main thought processes; I needed to grab everything else, but that should go much quicker because they weren't almost three terabytes in size.

"Would this be kinda like having a sibling?"

"I suppose so," I said. The rest of the information was transferring to the large hard drive on my laptop; I was glad that Kikuoka had given me one that was large enough, but I still had no idea how he managed to spin it to the people who had to procure it for him. If I knew that, I'd probably be able to manipulate anyone into doing anything. Or get a nice laptop easily; one of the two. "It might not be exactly like having a sibling. If anything, it'll be more the relationship between your dad and Suguha." Two people who were close, but not related. "Closer to a friend than a sibling, I think."

"I want a brother to talk to, but I also want to have Mommy and Daddy all to myself," Yui mused quietly. She hadn't even listened to what I said past 'I suppose so'. "Can the new AI be a boy?"

I grinned at her. "Sure thing, kiddo." I had no idea if it was possible for me to change gender; was it just a boolean switch? I briefly imagined what would happen if I changed that switch for Yui, and laughed to myself.

"Quit imagining weird things," Yui scolded. She knew me far too well.

"Yes'm," I replied with a grin. "Alright, kiddo. I'll get to work on this tomorrow, so go get some sleep."

* * *

**December 21st, 2025**

Several days later, I was tapping away at my laptop on the bus home from school; my headphones were in so that I could hear Yui answer any questions that I asked her. Suddenly, Argo tapped me on the shoulder. "Hey Ry, what are you working on?"

I removed my headphones and saved my work; the headphones didn't block all sound, but it made conversation easier without them. "Hm?"

"You've been busy for the past week, working on whatever your project is," Argo said. "So I want to know what it is."

I shook my head with a smile. "So curious. Very well." I turned my laptop to show her the files I had open.

Argo studied the code for a bit, then looked up at me. "This is incoherent. How the heck do you read any of this?" She wasn't a coder. Heh.

I shrugged. "After a bit, it just clicks and I stop seeing the code. All I see is blonde, brunette, red-head..."

"What... oh, you're referencing a movie again." Argo thought about it for a second. "Right, I get it now. You're the One, all right."

I chuckled. "Right. But seriously, once I understand how it works, I can read the code like a book. Anyway, I'll show you exactly what I'm working on when it's done."

"Keeping secrets? From me?" Argo smirked. "Risky."

I looked at her with a fond smile. "I prefer to think of it as preparing a surprise." I waved her away. "Now shoo – I'm sure there's some sort of diabolical rumor to spread or information to sell."

Argo snickered. "Someone from the higher-ups in the Gnomes contacted me, actually. They wanted to know if I had anything on the leader of the Leprechauns." I only had to look at her to see that typical wide and smug grin that told me she was making a sale. "And boy did I have information to sell."

"I trust you then immediately went to the Leprechauns and offered to sell them the identity of the person that bought the information?"

Argo gave me a sly, sidelong glance. "Who do you think I am?" It was good that one of us was getting work; Trinity hadn't been getting many requests lately, and that wasn't very useful to me. Hopefully, adding Sinon to the team would jump-start the economy again – with her skills in long-range, that should increase the types of jobs we could accept. At least, that's why I extended the invitation; I wasn't sure why she'd accepted it, but if the way she looked at Kirito were any indication...

I turned my attention back outwards back to Argo and listened as she talked about the current status of the power structures of Alfheim. As a mercenary, it was important that I kept up with these things, and this was an excellent time to get some information for free; and so, for the rest of the ride, I learned about the Gnomes and the Leprechauns. When the bus arrived at Argo's stop, she leaned over and kissed me on the cheek, as she always did. "Bye, Ry," she murmured. "See you later."

I gave her a fond smile and a quick hug. "Later, Argo." Fortunately, I wouldn't have to wait too long – only until the small amount of homework I hadn't finished in school was complete and I could log on to ALO.

* * *

**December 23rd, 2025**

When the program itself was done – it took just under a week, and would have taken longer if Yui hadn't been helping me by explaining what each segment of code did – I had to bite the bullet and call Kikuoka. He picked up on the third or fourth ring, fortunately. "Agent Kikuoka."

I sighed. "Hello, Kikuoka."

"Ah, Nick. How pleasant to hear from you," he said. "How can I help you?"

I scratched the back of my neck. "I need... a favor." I mumbled the last part.

"Pardon?"

"I said, I need a favor." I hated asking him for help, if only because every time I needed help it usually ended in a worse deal for me. I suppose it's only fair, because I usually bargained ruthlessly whenever he needed my help. "And it is, unfortunately, only something you can help me with."

"Is that so?" Kikuoka chuckled. "And why is that? Just to satisfy my curiosity."

Nosy bastard. "I need you to get the people that run the new ALO – Ymir, if I'm recalling correctly – to add a custom AI program to their system."

"Oh?" Kikuoka sounded intrigued by my somewhat strange request. "And why should I do this?"

I snorted. "Because the AI will help me gather information that may or may not be useful in investigating any other incidents like the Death Gun one. Or, in other words, it'll help me do my job." Kikuoka didn't exactly view AIs as if they were people, so I was careful to keep the gender-neutral pronouns. "That's what you want, after all, right?"

"So you built an AI from scratch -"

I interrupted him before he could get the wrong idea. "Actually, it's a modification of Yui's source code, designed for data collection and interpretation. But most of that logic is new, yes."

Kikuoka continued as if I hadn't interrupted him. "So you modified an AI with new code, and it works?" I answered in the affirmative, with the modifier that I hadn't actually tried it out. "Interesting."

"So can you do it?"

There was a pause before Kikuoka responded. "I think so. But there is one thing you'll have to do for me, though."

I sighed. "I had a feeling. Well, this is necessary, so tell me what it is."

"I want you to come work for me."

I blinked and stared at the phone. "Huh?" My eyes narrowed. "Are you talking about the Ministry of Internal Affairs and Communications, or the real place you work at?" There was a choking sound on the other end of the line, and I grinned in smug satisfaction. "Please, it was easy to figure out. There's no way some office grunt would have as much influence as you do; therefore, you have to be working for someone else, someone much more powerful. And that tells me the Ministry of Whatever is just a cover, something you can use to move quietly and further your own goals." There was silence on Kikuoka's end. "Or am I wrong?" There was no way I was wrong.

Kikuoka chuckled, then. "No, you're not wrong. There's this... project I'm working on, at the moment. It's fairly important – and extremely classified. As such, I can't tell you much more until you have the clearance to know about it. But I need your answer; will you work with me on this?"

I sighed. "I don't have much of a choice. If I'm to get the AI, needs must I agree to your deal. Very well." I chuckled. "Well, now I don't have to look for a part-time job."

Kikuoka chuckled as well. "I'll get in touch the officials at Ymir as soon as I can. I look forward to working with you, Nick."

The second he hung up the phone, I was already calling Argo to let her know everything that had happened – carefully edited to keep as much information out as possible. Knowing her, she'd be able to piece together my plan even if I gave her scraps of information, so I needed to make sure what I told her was as dry and self-evident as possible. Things like 'I'll be working for Kikuoka at some point in the future, because I needed a favor.' And even then, it's going to be risky; she'll be able to read into the fact that I need something from him that requires his influence – and it's fairly probable Argo has figured out that Kikuoka is more than just a Ministry worker.

* * *

**December 24th, 2025**

An official from Ymir contacted me the next day; they said that they remembered the work I did for them and that if I could come in to discuss some things it would be great. Seems like Kikuoka came through after all; maybe I shouldn't give him such a hard time. On second thought – it's too much fun to needle him, so why should I give it up?

I went in to the Ymir office to meet with the official that contacted me, bringing my laptop along. Once I was in the meeting, I didn't hesitate. "Well? Is there anything I can do for you?"

The official nodded. "I'm sure you're aware of the meeting I've had with Agent Kikuoka of the Ministry of Internal Affairs and Communications, given that you asked him to pull some strings."

I nodded; he wasn't treating me like a child. That was something I gave him credit for, although it could have been from when I was working there. "Indeed. So, have you come to a decision?" Would he even know who I am? I'm certain that Kikuoka would have told him my screen-name, and if he remembered who I was from when I was working there, that could explain his seeming respect.

The official nodded. "We will add an item to your account; it will be able to run an AI program using information located on your AmuSphere." The NerveGear was more fun to use, but the official couldn't say to use that, naturally. "From there, Cardinal will add the AI as a moderator, allowing it access to the database and information gathering." He probably has no idea what he's talking about; the rhythm of his voice suggests he's just repeating something the tech guys told him. Maybe I should stop by their stations on the way out; they might be able to tell me more. On second thought, it might not be such a good idea to talk to them – since they'd probably want to ask questions I had no intention of answering. Besides, talking to them would require interaction with other people, and that was too much effort. "Please ensure that the program follows these specific guidelines." The man handed me a piece of paper with very detailed instructions printed on there; seems I don't have to go talk to the tech people after all.

I put a polite smile on my face. "Thank you very much. I'm glad to have your cooperation in this matter." Looks like I have some work to do.

That evening, I logged in to find that a new item had been added to my inventory. The name of the item was ARP001; I wasn't sure what exactly the acronym stood for, but it wasn't entirely important. Argo logged in a few minutes later. "What's up, Ry? You said you had something to show me?" We were standing in our small apartment in Yggdrasil City; it wasn't very big, but it had plenty of room for what I had in mind.

"Well, you know how I was working on something for the past week?" I asked her.

Argo nodded. "I've been dying with curiosity, you know," she moaned. I just grinned at her, and she reluctantly grinned in response. "You're a dick."

"I could have told you any time I wanted, but this was more fun." Even though I loved her, that didn't mean she was exempt from my teasing. I actually teased her _because_ I loved her. "But hey, I'm done with it now." I swiped open my menu and pulled out the new item. It looked like a small glittering star; some graphic designer had definitely phoned this in. Not that I can really blame them, mind; it was pretty good for about four hours of work. "See?"

Argo glanced at me. "That? That took a full week?"

"About four hours, actually," I told her with a straight face. I couldn't keep it straight for long, though, cracking into a grin under the direct force of her death glare. "But what it runs did take that week."

"What does it run?"

"Let's find out," I told her. I tapped the star and used the item; it started glowing brightly, as though I had just turned on a lightbulb. Both Argo and I shielded our eyes from the light; bright light hurt, thanks to my Cait Sith eyes, and her Imp eyes were more accustomed to seeing in the dark. Either that or we just spent way too much time inside; one of the two.

When the light cleared, a boy almost exactly Yui's age was standing there, eyes closed. He had brown hair and was wearing a simple grey shirt and pants – nothing fancy; like Yui, he was barefoot. He slowly opened his eyes. "Greetings."

"It runs a boy," Argo muttered. "Of course it does."

I took the lead in the conversation. "Hello. Can you tell me who you are?"

The boy's eyes unfocused, as if he was reading something. After a second, he spoke. "I am Autonomous Research Program Zero Zero One."

"It's nice to meet you." I grinned. "Do you have a shorter name?"

The boy hesitated. "...No."

"Can you assign yourself one? It would be rather difficult to talk to you otherwise, kid." In addition, giving him a name would 'humanize' him slightly, allowing us to talk with him more comfortably. Not that it was uncomfortable, but it wasn't the same as talking with Yui. "Go ahead and try accessing the database." It was also a test to make sure he could make small changes to his own information.

There was some silence as the boy's eyes unfocused and his fingers twitched occasionally. I glanced at Argo, who by this point had accepted the fact that I had been creating an AI and was probably trying to figure out why. "I have assigned myself a name by editing the system's identification of my program. Please call me Din," the boy announced. So his official name was now 'Din-ARP001'. Neat.

I grinned at Din. "Sure thing, kid." I nodded to him slightly. "It's nice to meet you; my name is Rythin, and this is Argo."

Din stared at me. "Rythin... Race is Cait Sith, primary weapon is dagger and bare fists," he said as if he was reading off of a list. For all I knew, he was. "Affiliation is with the mercenary group known as the Trinity. Called 'the Ace Ace' by some, and 'the Tactician' by others. Currently in a relationship with a player known as Argo the Rat." The 'Ace Ace'? Wha- oh, because I was asexual. How did my sexual orientation even... whatever. Not that big a deal. Din turned to Argo and studied her. "Argo... Race is Imp, primary weapon is claws. Affiliation is to..." He frowned. "Money? Called 'the Rat' by players. Currently in a relationship with a player known as Rythin. Both players are not considered affiliated with any particular race in Alfheim Online, and are survivors of the game Sword Art Online."

Argo and I looked at each other for a second, stunned, and then laughed. "Affiliation to money," I chuckled. "Kid's got you nailed, Argo."

"Rythin, you created me," Din said. "You left your signature in the code." A habit of mine; I'd leave a small signature somewhere in the comments, typically a place where nobody would expect to see it.

I nodded. "You're correct, Din, though technically I modified a copy of an existing AI named Yui. Don't worry, though; everything you're thinking and learning is new." I was sure to wipe the 'experience' part of Yui's code, in order to avoid creating another copy of her. I also cleared out the learned information about players, to avoid conflicts of interest.

Din looked off into the distance, as though he was reading something. "...the database indicates that the male person that creates you is called your father. Are you my father?"

I was taken aback slightly; I hadn't expected him to imprint on me like that. Well, at least his researching skills were top-notch. Rallying, I chuckled. "I suppose I am, in a sense."

Din turned to Argo. "Does that make you my mother? You are displaying signs of affection toward Father including occasional physical contact and – according to your AmuSphere data – an elevated pulse." That was one of the few times I had seen Argo absolutely speechless. Having Din effortlessly read the information pulled from her AmuSphere was probably a bit of a shock for her; I didn't even know he could do that, so it took me a second to roll with the punches.

But I gathered my wits quickly enough; looking at Argo, I grinned. "Congratulations, Argo. You're a mom." I turned to Din, who was watching us innocently. "Bingo, kid. Though you might want to dial it back a bit – most people don't like having their secrets mentioned like that."

Din frowned in confusion. "Why?"

I started to answer, but stopped; I really had no good idea. "Well, it helps if you keep things in waiting for the right moment," I said finally. The smallest bit of information could be devastating if it was used at the right time; my lip twitched as I remembered a particularly fun time a few months ago that made that truism perfectly evident.

"Alright, Father," Din said.

I laughed. "No need to be so formal, kid. 'Dad' is fine, and I'm pretty sure Argo will be fine with 'Mom'." We'd be a strange family, I suppose, but we can probably make it work. I could feel Argo's stare – more a studied and appraising look, but semantics – from behind me, but I had a feeling that once I explained myself she'd be okay with the situation. She had mentioned wanting kids to her friends, before – it didn't take long for that particular bit of news to get to me – and I figured this was currently the best way to give her that.

After Argo managed to pull herself together, we all flew to Asuna and Kirito's apartment; Din had a Navigation Pixie form as well, with what was essentially smaller versions of what he had been wearing before. We landed on the balcony just outside their apartment; they were waiting there, since I had messaged them and told them to expect us. Yui was waiting as well, waiting on top of Kirito's head. His avatar's hair used to be spiked slightly, but sometime in June he had changed it back to the way it had been in SAO. I had asked Yui why Kirito changed his hair, once; she had thought about it, and then said it had been a little hard to sit on. "Hey, guys," Kirito said with a smile. "We were about to go on a dungeon run when we got your message. What's up?" Then he noticed the small Navi Pixie riding on my shoulder. "Rythin? Do you know you have someone on your shoulder?" I just laughed.

"Hi!" Yui said, beaming at all of us.

I grinned at the three. "Greetings. We bring news and good tidings."

Asuna just smiled. "Let's go inside and you can tell us what's going on."

We sat down on the couch. I listened in on Yui and Din's conversation while Asuna was in the kitchen getting some sort of delicious baked goods. "Are you Din?" Yui asked. "Uncle Rythin told me about you. He said you're super smart."

"But you could just look at my identification and abilities on the database," Din said. "Why did you need Dad to tell you?"

Yui smiled. "Because it's more fun that way!"

After that, I turned my attention back to Kirito and Asuna, who were still waiting for my story. I obliged them, telling them that I had needed something to help me gather and interpret information. "Cute kid, Rythin. He's what you've been working on?" Kirito asked.

I nodded. "Yep. Yui probably told you, but I basically copied her code and modified it. After Death Gun, I didn't want to be caught flat-footed again."

Asuna raised an eyebrow. "And this isn't because you two wanted a kid?" I smirked slightly; close, Asuna, but not quite. Better luck next time.

Hey, I didn't have to deal with pregnancy, and he skipped through the toddler years," Argo said. "I don't see a downside." Well, at least she was alright with the situation – being a single father would have been extremely difficult.

I started to say something, but stopped; Din and Yui were comparing things that they liked to do – or more accurately, Yui was telling Din about what she liked to do – and I had heard something strange. "Kirito, Asuna, did Yui just say she breaks through firewalls as a hobby?" The pair sighed. "You have an impressive little cyber-terrorist as a daughter."

Asuna just shrugged with a smile. "She doesn't actually do anything. Just breaks in, I guess."

I shook my head. "Amazing. Anyway, it's easier to get detailed searches this way," I said. "It's gonna be like with you and Yui – if I need something, I'll ask, but other than that I'm leaving him to his own devices. Let him play with Yui, do his own research, stuff like that. Besides, he said he wants to help out. And Yui said she wanted a friend, so hey, what the hell, right?"

Kirito just shook his head in amazement. "So you made a new life because you're lazy?" That's one rather unflattering way of putting it. I prefer to be called 'motivationally challenged', thank you very much. If it interests me, I'll do it.

I frowned in thought. "Well, it was a joint effort. You do need at least two people, right? I haven't studied up on coitus for a while – for fairly obvious reasons. And since you two are experienced..." Argo was howling with laughter, and Kirito and Asuna's faces were beet red. "Heh."

I was reading in bed that night when my phone's camera flash went off – the signal that someone from the AI world wanted to talk. I rolled out of bed – disturbing my cat again, the poor kitten – and sat down at my computer. It turned out it was Din that wanted to speak to me. "What's up, kid?"

Din hesitated slightly. "Yui said that my speaking was somewhat stiff and formal."

I raised an eyebrow. "Oh?" She wasn't wrong; his words weren't exactly fluid, but he'd probably get better with practice as his experience with the language increased. At the moment, he was grammatically correct, but his words didn't flow like someone who had been talking for several years.

"Can..." Din looked up at me. "Would it be possible for me to accompany you to school?"

"Physically? No." I grinned and continued before Din could leave in disappointment. "But you're more than welcome to ride along in my phone. That's why that world can get connected to the phones, actually. Yui wanted to tag along when Kazuto and Asuna went on their dates, so I added that in." I grinned at Din. "So yeah, you can ride along and listen in while we're in class."

"Alright." Din smiled. "Good night, Dad."

"Good night, Din."

Merry Christmas to me.

* * *

**Din is essentially a male version of Yui that's dedicated to information collection, manipulation, and interpretation. Basically, he's going to be doing his own thing most of the time – usually, riding on Rythin's shoulder if he's not chilling out in the private world – unless Rythin or Argo needs something. I won't be abusing his abilities.**

**As for him being their 'kid', that just kinda happened. Din and Rythin are both somewhat clueless about familial interactions, so this could be interesting. Rythin didn't exactly plan on Din imprinting like that, but it wasn't unexpected to him, either - he had a feeling something like that was going to happen, since he was based on Yui and she adopted Kirito and Asuna.**

**Many thanks to everyone that favorited, followed, or left a review. Special thanks go to **_Alicornication_** for being a dedicated reviewer.**


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